


Where we left off

by nicaaa_chuuu



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alpha Hinata Shouyou, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bottom Kageyama Tobio, Domestic Fluff, Family, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, KageHina - Freeform, Karasuno Family, Love Triangles, M/M, MamaTobio, Mutual Pining, Mutually Unrequited, Omega Kageyama Tobio, Other, Pining, Possibly Unrequited Love, Post-Time Skip, Pro Volleyball Player Hinata Shouyou, Protect Kageyama at all cost, Protective Karasuno Volleyball Club, Sugamama, Top Hinata Shouyou, Unrequited Love, hidden pregnancy, hinakage
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-08
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:41:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 32,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27949232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nicaaa_chuuu/pseuds/nicaaa_chuuu
Summary: After six years, Kageyama met Hinata again. But everything weren't as simple as before.
Relationships: Azumane Asahi/Nishinoya Yuu, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Miya Atsumu, Kageyama Tobio/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Kuroo Tetsurou/Tsukishima Kei, Miya Atsumu/Sakusa Kiyoomi, Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Yachi Hitoka/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 181
Kudos: 486





	1. After six years...

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I'm here yet again with another KageHina fic because I have no restraints. Like stated the tag, this is an OMEGAVERSE fic and it's my first time to write one so I hope you'd be gentle with me. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are highly appreciated. They keep me motivated to write more so please do. Thank you so much!

_1… 2… 3… 6._

It’s the sixth Christmas without Hinata Shoyo. But the world didn’t stop for Kageyama Tobio when the sun had dimmed. It remained spinning— life continued around him like the bustling city he stood in the middle of.

Christmas was on its way. Festive decorations adorned everything he laid eyes on. A giant Christmas tree stood in the middle of the shopping district, barricaded with white frosted railing to keep out any excited children who wanted to climb it up like a certain little girl. Christmas ornaments hang on greens, tinsels of gold and silver wrapped around the tree to provide extra glimmer alongside switched-on lights. Lanterns hovered on lampposts, displayed on shopfronts while famous Christmas carols were playing to complete the holiday ambiance for customers.

Kageyama Ichika was humming along to _Jingle Bells_ as she and Tobio looked through kids’ dresses.

“How about this, Ichika?” The black-haired guy pulled out a dress from the rack.

Hazel eyes sparkled with interest.

“It’s like Elsa’s!” Ichika exclaimed, reaching to touch the base of the tulle skirt. The sleeves were made of lace, connected to a satin-like fabric of the bodice. The white and icy-blue colour of the dress matched the one from Ichika’s favourite movie. “Can we plea—” the little girl stopped mid-sentence, now looking at the price tag. The interest was quick to dissipate into a small wince. “Nope. It’s too expensive, Mama.”

Tobio gave out a soft chuckle. He planted a hand on top of his daughter’s head, brushing through black hair she inherited from Tobio. “It’s fine. Your Auntie Miwa added some money for our budget— so we can get this for you, little angel.” He explained, and then leaned down to rub the tip of his nose against Ichika’s cold forehead.

That seemed to quell her worries. His daughter’s smile brightened up the cold day. “Thank you, Mama!”

Seriously, Tobio wanted Ichika to not hold back. When it comes to their financial state, they weren’t struggling at all. He had savings stocked up from the one season he’d done in the V-league before Tobio dropped everything. Additionally, the pay on the kindergarten he was working as a temporary staff wasn’t too bad. The man would splurge for her. Even his older sister wanted to spoil Ichika, but the little girl profusely refused. It did worry Tobio once. Kids her age would demand for toys they liked after watching a children’s show— but not her. Ichika would instead ask to add the money on their home savings. People who’d known the two often praised Ichika’s maturity for Tobio raising her well.

Pride would warm him constantly whenever people would come praising his little angel. Ichika’s existence was Tobio’s pride and joy, his bundle of sunshine.

Smiling softly at his daughter, the two went ahead to the cashier to pay for the dress. Christmas shopping on the first week of December had become a little tradition for them. Sometimes, Miwa would come visit them in Hokkaido to spend the holidays. But ever since she signed an exclusive contract with Haiba Alisa’s agency, Miwa had been extremely busy and already bailed several visits. Now that Tobio was watching Ichika staring at the staff neatly folding her newly purchase dress, he wondered if his daughter wanted to visit Tokyo instead and spend Christmas in the city with Miwa.

“Thank you!” She chirpily said, taking the shopping bag from the staff.

“Please come, again.”

Tobio bowed his head a little, then held Ichika’s hand as the two stepped out of the shop. The wind whistled; cold biting on his skin and made him shudder for a moment. But instead of fixing his own coat, Tobio bent down to fix the powder blue scarf wrapped around Ichika’s neck first, then buttoned-up the thick white coat she’s wearing.

“Cool…” Ichika’s eyes beamed at the puff of smoke curling skyward as she breathed out. Tobio chuckled at her amusement, combing her hair with a hand then secured a pair of earmuffs to cover her ears. “Mama, is it gonna snow soon?”

“Probably, sweetheart.” Tobio answered, now fixing his own muffler.

All the years he had to raise his daughter alone, Tobio learned to put Ichika’s need before his own. It had been hard to be an omega with a child, especially in his case who had no one to rely to except for his sister. No mate helped him nurture their child. At some point, Tobio had almost gave up. But as Ichika’s warm smile reached the mirthful crescents of her eyes— he couldn’t even remember why he even thought of giving up. All hardships blurred into nothing. The weight of tears he cried couldn’t surmount the happiness Ichika brought upon his life.

Tiny hands reached for Tobio’s cheek and Ichika’s warmth sipped through the crow-designed wool gloves. “Mama, what do you want for Christmas?” she asked, glee lacing her voice.

Abruptly, her question garnered unwanted attention. “Mama? Oh my— an omega?”

Though Ichika’s warmth rounded like a small bubble of happiness around her and Tobio, the murmurings pierced through the surface. Tobio’s body went rigid for the malicious voices and discriminating glances their way.

His daughter insisted on calling him ‘Mama’ even though it hadn’t received a good reception. Ichika understood second genders at such early stage. Back in her old kindergarten, she hadn’t been well-received by her classmates being an omega’s daughter. His heart would always sink whenever Ichika would come home with red-rimmed eyes, sniffling as she supressed her sobs until Tobio would wrap her in a hug.

However, Ichika wasn’t crying for the bullying. Her reason opened Tobio’s eyes for what kind of life he’d brought her in when he insisted on keeping the seed.

And how much, a little girl like her could be strong— strong enough to be Tobio’s steady pillar.

_“Mama is Mama! If Mama isn’t an omega, I wouldn’t meet Mama at all!”_

“Isn’t he disgusted? Letting his daughter call him that when he’s a man?”

“What a disgrace to the society.”

Tobio sighed, then gentle eyes casted on Ichika who glanced at the owner of the voice. A small frown creased her forehead, and the little biting she’s doing on her lip was an indicative she was holding back. Because Tobio had taught her that answering to elders was a bad thing. That same day Ichika cried out loud, he promised he would do everything he could to protect the biggest blessing in his life. His second gender would be the biggest hurdle— but Tobio wouldn’t let it be the reason Ichika couldn’t have a life she would be happy of.

So, he let the prejudice fell on deaf ears. Tobio would ignore. The hate on their words would easily burn in Ichika’s light. A small smile tugged on his lips. Without a word, Tobio stood and carried Ichika in his arms. She yelped, wounding her arms around her mother’s neck. “What about just play volleyball with me?”

The sound of her laughter shattered the suffocating attention surrounding them. “But Mama! We always play volleyball.”

Tobio started, disregarding the people who looked their way. He had no location in mind, but it’s almost twelve and he’d promise Ichika a bowl of ramen for lunch. As they rounded a corner, Tobio rubbed the tip of his nose against his daughter’s apple-plump cheek. “Then you can get me a new apron.” He added. “But I always love whatever you get for me, little angel.”

Ichika widely smiled, a resemblance to someone’s excited grin and Tobio’s eyes softened in just the barest moment. “Okay, I’m gonna get Mama a new apron!”

He laughed and said his thanks. After a little while, the conversation shifted to what they would get as Miwa’s gift.

The shopping bag still clutched on her tiny hand was hitting his back. Tobio asked for it and as they were passing by the giant Christmas tree, Ichika eyed the bag he took from her with fierce determination. “I’m gonna win the Christmas competition…” she murmured, then looked at him straight in the eyes. “Mhm! I’ll win it, Mama!”

There was a certain hunger pooling inside her eyes. A drive he knew so well that was once directed towards volleyball and winning every single match. And it had Tobio reeling from the memories threatening to resurface. He bit down on them with the barest of smiles. “Of course, you will! Ichika is the best.”

“I’m the best because Mama is with me!”

 _She looked like him…_ Even their biggest, fullest smile were too similar. Corners of their lips tugged tightly; thin lines creased the sides of their eyes. Ichika’s head tilted in the slightest inch like what _he’d_ do so unconsciously when he’s too happy— like a curious little crow. But most of all, what seared the corner of Tobio’s eyes, was the radiancy Ichika projected. It was as if the absent sun on the gloomy day was hiding inside her, permeating everything she touched with gentle warmth. Including Tobio’s cold nostalgia crawling underneath his skin.

_‘As long as I’m here, you’re invincible!’_

The newscaster casted on the massive screen spoke. “Everyone, please stay warm. The sun will not be out today.”

Tobio inhaled quietly, pushing the lump lodged in his throat and blinked several times to prevent any tears from leaking out. The thought of Hinata Shoyo could easily push him off the steepest cliff until he was barrelling down the deepest ocean made of his memories and regrets. But he still had to smile for his daughter. “I love you, little angel.”

* * *

_No. Hinata wasn’t dead._

“Ichika, don’t go too far!” Tobio shouted after his daughter running away from the bench he was sitting on, a new volleyball ball in her hands. “And be careful not to serve the ball on someone’s head!”

“Yes, Mama!” 

Frosted trees stood on the grounds of the small playground near their apartment. No sight of any green or any other colour aside from the silvery-white on dark trunks. It was a pretty sight, aesthetic, but somehow it looked too sad on Tobio’s eyes. A reflection of the emotion sitting inside his heart. Even the air tasted dull. He watched his breath turn to smoke, billowing towards the grey clouds hovering above.

It would be the sixth year he’d watch snow fall to cover Hokkaido in white blanket… the sixth year and he still wasn’t used to the cold of the northernmost island of Japan where he decided to hide.

Six years had passed, but he felt like time didn’t pass at all.

His broken heart hadn’t healed. Tobio didn’t even manage to pick up the shattered pieces where they scattered on the floor and wounded him. Since Hinata chose to leave Japan, he wasn’t able to move. For Ichika, he breathed. For Ichika, he existed. But when it comes to Hinata, Tobio would die again and again.

“Mama, look!” Ichika threw the ball upwards, running ahead before jumping to smack it. The ball hurtled and hit the water bottle she placed few feet away from her. Even with the distance, he could see the sunny smile Ichika directed at him after the bottle fell down on the ground.

“G-good job, sweetheart!” Tobio gasped a shuddering breath. He could hear the cold wind whistling in the hollowed-out chamber of his heart. It was troubling to be empty and full at the same time. Tears frosted on his lashes as he kept tear-glazed eyes on his daughter— the angel who made everything real. Hinata once been the constant thing that chased his bad dreams away— but he also became the nightmare Tobio couldn’t escape from. _Just how long his ghost needed to haunt Tobio until Hinata was satisfied?_

No. Hinata wasn’t dead, but the darkest part of Tobio’s soul wished that were the case. The pain of losing him to death would be bearable than the pain he was constantly plagued with. At least, in Tobio’s memory he would’ve gone still in love with the setter. But it wasn’t the case. Hinata was very much alive— the alpha Tobio thought was the better part of his life, was living his best life without Tobio.

“Mama!” Ichika called again, waving zealously at his direction. Thank God for the distance she wouldn’t be able to see him crying. “I’m gonna practice a lot then I’ll become the best setter like you!”

Tobio chuckled.

Ichika’s enough. Having his daughter was enough— Tobio shouldn’t hope for something that was already labelled hopeless. He should let it go, already. Even the part of him that thought he would forever treasure Hinata was also already waving a white flag.

He’d start from rock bottom, but that was okay. Ichika would be there. Tobio closed his eyes and threw his head back. The cold winter days could be a new symbol of hope for him until the spring comes. Hope blossomed in his chest and when he’d opened his eyes, the sight of the clouds wasn’t as gloomy as before. “Yeah…” he whispered to himself. “Ichika and I will be okay.”

He’d keep repeating the mantra until it would someday be real.

Tobio stood up, gathering the shopping bags from next to him and once again shouted for his daughter. “C’mon, little angel! We’re going home!”

“Five more minutes, Mama! I need to practice my jump serve!” Ichika whined.

Back in their little apartment, a worn volleyball was scattered amongst her toys. It was the only ball he’d brought from his past and Ichika took a liking of it. It was her idea to learn how to play volleyball when she’d heard Tobio’s stories of his high school days, and now she’s set on becoming a setter like Tobio. Her dreams were his as well. He’d taught everything he could teach her and would support Ichika in every way of her dreams— but right now, he needed his daughter back inside their apartment. “That’s enough! I’ll cook you your favourite udon noodles!”

Ichika turned towards him, holding the ball with two hands in front of her. “Just one more, Mama!”

 _Had he also been this hard-headed towards volleyball way back in high school?_ Tobio could now imagine the despair Daichi felt when he’d try to stop them from practicing too much but wouldn’t listen. “No, let’s—”

_It hit him hard._

A strong but sweet scent, something like rosewood, wafted in the chilly air and surrounded him. The forgotten instinct lying dormant inside him woke up. It slithered across his spine, up to where it lodged inside the hollow chamber of his heart and held him so tight, he found it hard to breath. Tobio doubled down in pain, gritting his teeth and every part of him shuddered as strong hand gripped his arm.

“Kageyama!”

_Just how long his ghost needed to haunt Tobio until Hinata was satisfied?_

Black eyes met with familiar hazel eyes. His omega instinct kicking in at the sight of orange hair, flopped down it reached Hinata’s forehead. The same omega that just decided to strengthen his resolve in moving-on wanted to reach out and push Hinata’s hair off his face… to touch him— Tobio shoved Hinata’s hand off his arm with the barest strength he could muster. “Get the fuck away from me!”

Hinata gaped at him with wide eyes. “What…”

Tobio dug his fingers on the skin of his arms as he hugged himself closer. It was ridiculous. Whoever the deity weaving fate must’ve hated him, toying him at this second. _He just…_ Tobio shut off the tears threatened to spill. He just decided to forget Hinata for the love of God! “What are you doing here?” he asked, anger stung his tongue like venom. He shouldn’t be popping out of nowhere to play with Tobio like this! The hardship within those six years should already be enough. “You should leave now…”

“No.” Hinata tried to reach out for Tobio again, but the setter slapped his hand away so hard the contact rang on the empty space. The orange-haired curled the hand onto a fist between them. “I should be the one asking you that…” he breathed out slowly as if the words were even harder to speak out loud. “The whole Karasuno was looking for you!”

 _But not you,_ Tobio wanted to add. “I was—” he wanted to argue but then he remembered the certain angel just few meters away from the two men. His omega instinct was overridden by the panic that had his heart raging even worst. The way Hinata was still looking at him, he hadn’t noticed the girl throwing a ball up in the air. And Tobio hoped he wouldn’t notice her ever. He took a step back. “I-I… I’ll contact Suga-san.”

Hinata should leave as soon as possible. But for every step Tobio took back, Hinata took one forward, closer to him. “Let’s talk.”

Tobio’s lips wobbled. He hated it— how the omega in him just seemed couldn’t deny the urge to be inside Hinata’s warmth again. He hated that part of him so much Tobio couldn’t stop the hot tears streaming down his cold cheek. “W-we have nothing to talk about…”

“Yes, we do! I—” He was cut off by someone.

“Shoyo!” Upon hearing his name, Hinata whirled around to see where it came from. The wind breezed his scent stronger towards Tobio and it punched the setter hard in the guts.

His eyes widened like two full moons, head reeling with his thoughts fogging up. Until it became clear for Tobio what was happening. The rosewood smell, the distinct alpha scent that belonged to Hinata Shoyo had Tobio grinding his legs together, a part of him leaking like a flower overflowing with nectar.

Disgust recoiled him. Disgust for himself— that even after everything he’d still want Hinata just because of some goddamn fate! And it dropped Tobio curled on the ground, his knees knocked against his chest.

“Tobio—”

A loud _smack_ echoed in the playground, halting Hinata. A ball bounced on the ground near Tobio and the rushing footsteps followed. With one eye opened, Tobio knew he was too late. He didn’t want Ichika to meet Hinata. He didn’t want his daughter to go through same pain he went through if Hinata decided he didn’t want Ichika.

 _But it was too late…_ Ichika stood before Tobio, arms spread like she was barricading Tobio from Shoyo who was holding the back of his head. Two sets of hazel eyes met with each other. “Stay away from Mama!”

“Holy hell…” Miya Atsumu breathed out next to a dumbfounded Hinata. “It’s a mini Shoyo-kun.”


	2. Omega's daughter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hinata was meeting Ichika for the first time, and he's goddamn sure she was his daughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't expect the overflowing support for this! Thank you so much. Your supports (kudos and comments) mean a lot! <3 
> 
> Come say hi to me in Twitter. I've started posting Twitter fics in my account so you might want to check them out. Thank you again!

**CHAPTER 2**

“Holy hell… It’s a mini Shoyo-kun...”

To say that he was stunned was an understatement. The nostalgic smell of milk; mellow but sweet was floating in the cold Hokkaido air. The same scent that drove him mad countless of times since the first he caught it drifting off Kageyama, however, it wasn’t strong for him to budge even a single finger. 

It was like looking at his reflection in a mirror. Hinata Shoyo couldn’t mistaken it. Her hair was just as black as Tobio’s cascading straight down to her sides, but the eyes chaining his alpha instincts were of the same eyes as Natsu’s. Hazel— dark brown eyes with gold speckles resembling the colour of autumn season. It was Shoyo’s eyes looking back at him. The fire pooled inside them— to protect her mother from strangers, the alpha knew it so well he could feel himself burning. There was no mistaking it… he was staring at his daughter!

“I-Ichika... hnng!” Kageyama grunted.

Shoyo’s eyes drifted to him clutching his middle, face contorted to something akin to pain. Too many thoughts swirled inside the alpha’s head, but he remained stoic like a mindless idiot in the middle of deserted playground. _He should help Kageyama… he should… the alpha… omega’s scent…_

He flinched. His daughter gave Shoyo a last look— eyes so hard no one would believe they came from a child her age, before turning around to kneel in front of Kageyama on the ground. “Mama! Mama!”

“Shoyo-kun!” Atsumu turned towards him, tone frantic. “What are ye gonna do?”

 _What should he do?_ Without Ichika to stop him with her eyes, his alpha instinct was catching up on him. The sweet scent was getting stronger, so concentrated even the sanest alpha would lose himself to it. It was nothing short of amazing. The restraints holding him off were slowly snapping, his head was fogging up. It was urging him to go, hunger salivated the inside of his mouth and Shoyo took one step closer with eyes on the omega and the strong desire to breed him.

“Shoyo, what are y—”

_To breed Kageyama Tobio…_

As if sensing his dark intentions, Ichika whipped her head to Shoyo’s direction and shouted. “Stay away!”

Abruptly, as if someone had drenched him with ice water, cold ran down Shoyo’s spine and pulled him off the supposedly uncontrollable urge of an unmated alpha. It was Ichika’s voice. She had one hand holding Kageyama’s while the other was raised in the space between them and Shoyo. Her voice wobbled but her words were firm. “S-stay away from Mama!”

It shamed Shoyo. Here he was again… about to give in to his alpha instincts. And he had to need his daughter to stop him from it.

Kageyama groaned. Even with the cold weather, sweat broke on his forehead and wisps of white smoke rushed skyward from his ragged breathing. The heat was straining him and Shoyo couldn’t just not do something! Hesitantly, his eyes met with a mirror again. “B-but…”

“No!” her shout reverberated in the playground. “Y-you can’t touch my Mama!”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake…” Atsumu exhaled the words heavily, but quiet— his consideration for the kid. “Yer Mama’s gonna be in more pain so let us help him. Okay?” 

“No! NO!” Shoyo was glued in place as Atsumu shortened the distance swiftly. Within two huge steps, he was already kneeling in front of Kageyama but Ichika was pushing him off. Like she hadn’t noticed that Atsumu wasn’t affected at all even at the close proximity to Kageyama’s smell. Atsumu looked down on her hands. “No! Stay away from my Mama!” She tried with ferocity despite Atsumu wasn’t even budging an inch from her force. “DON’T TOUCH HIM!” Ichika added when Atsumu planted a hand on Kageyama’s arm.

A quiet growl reverberated within Shoyo’s chest. But he didn’t want to scare off Ichika, so he’d bit it down and curled his fist on the side for extra measure.

The blond setter sighed. “I won’t hurt him, kiddo.”

“I don’t trust strangers!”

“We’re Tobio-chan’s friends.” Again, the setter breathed with exasperation and then threw his head back towards the sky. “Tobio-chan, can’t ya hear me? Tell yer kid I won’t do anything to you so let me help ‘ye.”

Kageyama opened an eye and found his daughter fighting off Atsumu. “I-Ichika…” the omega tried to push himself off the ground and Shoyo started when he’d almost slumped back down, but Atsumu steadied him with a hand on his shoulder. “I-I’m fine, Atsumu-san.”

“Ya look like yer about to pass out.”

Even with the display of good deed, Ichika tried to push off the hand clutching Kageyama’s shoulder. “Let go him!”

Shoyo’s attention went on the same hand. And then on Ichika’s almost crying face. Her button nose was red: either from the cold or from the tears that shone on the corner of her eyes. Shoyo’s mouth on her face was set quivering like she’s supressing her sobs. It unfurled the alpha. His protective instinct as an alpha gurgled from the pit of his guts, rising slowly like burning anger— then he looked at the blond setter with blood in his eyes, hands flexing and Shoyo lunged at the person who made his daughter cry and was touching Kageyama.

“Hinata!” A strong hand gripped him back. Shoyo craned his head to snarl at Bokuto who had an uncharacteristically serious expression on his face. “Calm down.”

“Bokuto-san.” He called his senpai’s name with an underlying warning. Shoyo wouldn’t remain civil to anyone who’d made his daughter cry.

Shoyo could feel eyes on them— two alphas who were staring each other down. One was to protect, and one was to hold back. It heated the surroundings, melting the frost that covered everything. But another familiar voice shattered the demise before it could breakthrough.

“Ichika! Tobio!”

Ichika used Atsumu’s momentarily surprise to Kageyama Miwa’s appearance out of nowhere and successfully dislodged the hand on Kageyama’s shoulder. The blond setter fell on his ass, casting his surprise at Ichika who’s now protectively hugging her mother by his neck. “Auntie Miwa, these scary people are hurting Mama!”

Miwa dropped herself in front of them, a big duffel bag next to her, then she cupped Kageyama’s cheek with gloved hands. “Are you in _heat?_ Medicine?”

Shoyo wordlessly took his arm back from Bokuto’s hold, brown-eyed focus intent on Kageyama slowly shaking his head. He looked as if strength left him in an instant. “I-I can bear it, Miwa-nee.”

“You’re burning up…” Miwa turned her head at Ichika. “Sweetheart, let’s get your Mama home, okay? Can you carry the bags?”

“Yes!”

Miwa took Ichika’s place. While the little girl collected the shopping bags, Kageyama’s sister looped her brother’s arm around her shoulder to help him stand. But the difference in their body proportion and height nearly toppled them down, and Atsumu had to steady them together.

Shoyo was quick to move. He took one step forward but Bokuto held him back once again. Impatient, the orange-haired man bared his teeth to retaliate and his senpai softly shook his head as if to say wait. “I’ll do it, Hinata. I have Keiji, I won’t be affected with Kageyama’s scent— I won’t steal him from you.” Bokuto added, warily.

The other alpha heaved a breath, then it was Shoyo’s turn to shake his head. “My head’s clear, Bokuto-san.” And without another word, he closed the distance between him and Kageyama with determined strides. Atsumu called for his name and Miwa glared at him. But Shoyo ignored all of them and easily lifted Kageyama in his arms like he weighed nothing. One arm was at the back of Kageyama’s knees and the other supporting his back. “Where are you staying?” he asked, looking down at the startled face of the omega.

“I-I can walk—”

“Where are you staying, Kageyama?” Shoyo repeated, every word firmer than the last.

Kageyama’s eyes glazed— another nostalgic picture for Shoyo. The flush sitting across his cheek heightened, the scent of milk getting stronger, and in his arms, Kageyama was squirming as if he was reaching for something. Shoyo quietly growled. Just few seconds of having the omega in his arms already had Shoyo dropped dead in the pool of his desires.

Their impulses as alpha and omega in the flame of desire— it was glaring how much the years apart burned into nothing in just a moment of flicker under Kageyama’s heat. He knew it was the same for Kageyama. The omega nuzzled his face on the base of Hinata’s neck, hot breath touching the alpha’s skin as he breathed out Shoyo’s name. “H-Hinata…”

“Dammit!” Shoyo cursed under his breath, shutting his eyes tightly.

Everyone was standing still around them, but Shoyo imagined every single one of them as saints to judge him. In his head, he started reciting bible verses Asahi would send in the Karasuno group chat every now and then to remind them of their unholy thoughts and deeds and to ask for forgiveness. Shoyo begged the heavens for salvation for the thing that went hard at the mere mention of his name in Kageyama’s soft voice.

Suddenly, someone was tugging the hem of his shirt. When Shoyo looked down, Ichika’s scrutinizing glare was thrown at his shameful face. “What are you doing to my mommy? Don’t bully him!”

Miwa stepped next to them. The older Kageyama took Ichika’s hand and held the little girl next to her. “It’s fine, Ichika-chan. He’ll get Tobio home—” then the smile she directed at Shoyo was nothing less of menacing. Shoyo inwardly recoiled as Miwa dropped her voice for Ichika not to hear the red warning of her words. “If you touched him any more than that, I’ll cut where it damn matters the most. You hear me, Shoyo-kun?”

“Y-yeah.”

 _Yeah. I need that salvation,_ Shoyo thought, trailing after Miwa and Ichika. Atsumu called his name for the nth time, but Shoyo only gave a quick nod at his direction and Bokuto. And to Sakusa who was watching the events unfold sat a careful distance. He’d apologize later. But nothing was more important than the man in his arms.

Kageyama was already sleeping in his little cocoon, head resting on Shoyo’s shoulder, black hair tickling the side of Shoyo’s jaw. Even though the alpha was still shorter than the omega, Kageyama fit perfectly in Shoyo’s arm. Then he remembered Bokuto’s words. _“I won’t steal him from you.”_ Shoyo rubbed his cheek on top of Kageyama’s head, revelling himself with the omega’s warmth. _Bokuto said those words even though Kageyama had never once been Shoyo’s._

* * *

The apartment was humble, the right size enough for two people to live in. It was an open space with a bedroom, kitchen and living room. After Shoyo placed Kageyama on the single bed, Miwa asked him to wait in the living room, which was adjacent to the kitchen and had a low table, while she tended to Kageyama. Everywhere he looked at from where he was sitting on the floor, there wasn’t any trace of his prior life. No picture with the Karasuno. Kageyama’s jersey jacket was nowhere in sight. No medals they attained from when they ranked third on their last Spring Tournament. Not ounce of Shoyo’s existence anywhere. It was as if Kageyama Tobio erased those years of his life.

Except for a single ball scattered amongst colouring books and toys on one corner of the room.

Shoyo’s attention was caught by a glass of water placed on the low table in front of him. “Auntie Miwa said to give it to you.”

Ichika didn’t wait for Shoyo to respond and she rushed to climb the bed. The alpha watched as his daughter sidled next to Kageyama in her pink dress and tiny hand brushing the hair sticking on the omega’s forehead.

He’d been unconsciously referring to Ichika as his daughter. What if he was mistaken and Ichika wasn’t his? With that single thought, Shoyo’s possessiveness reared its ugly head again. That couldn’t be the case. Aside for her long black hair, Ichika unmistakably took everything from Shoyo. Eyes, nose, mouth— even the smile she’s giving Miwa after the older Kageyama ruffled her hair.

“I’ll get the bath ready, then you can help me prepare dinner.” Miwa said.

Ichika stared up with big, bright eyes. “Can we make curry for Mama?”

“You sweet little girl! Of course, we can!” Ichika’s giggle rang through the small space after Miwa jumped at her with a tight hug. Kageyama groaned, most likely for the loud noise and his sister pulled back because of it. “Sorry… Alright, look after your Mama.”

Miwa gave Shoyo the barest of glance before disappearing behind the single door in the apartment, which the alpha assumed was the bathroom. Now with the silence, with Ichika ignoring him completely, Shoyo freely roamed his eyes once again at the life Kageyama lived without him. An elementary school uniform hanged on the rack with some kid’s dresses and Kageyama’s shirts. Framed pictures were of Ichika when she was born and another one with Kageyama, both of them wearing party hats. It was surprising to see Kageyama living in the apartment. It was clean and everything was neatly placed aside for the corner where the single ball sat.

Shoyo stared at it. He wondered if the omega continued playing the sport. When he’d arrived in Brazil, he heard nothing from Kageyama after. Few months later, it was Oikawa who told him about Kageyama dropping out of the Olympics and National team. No one in their former Karasuno team knew his whereabouts. Kageyama just… _poof_ out of existence. He disappeared without a single trace.

No one thought he would be hiding in a place where the cold wind could easily erase any footsteps in the snow. No wonder they couldn’t find Kageyama in those six years. When he arrived in Hokkaido after the Jackals decided to spend their victories on the preliminary match of the season, Shoyo wasn’t expecting to find the man they all had been looking for.

And with _their_ daughter, nonetheless.

Before Shoyo could accommodate the part of him that wanted to be angry at Kageyama, Miwa sat opposite of him on the floor. “What are you doing here?” she asked, dropping any formality.

Shoyo raised his head and paid no attention to the hardness of her tone. “If I knew Kageyama would be here I would’ve came earlier than this.”

“ _Knew?”_ Miwa scoffed, shaking her head. Her hair was still shouldered length like the last time he’d seen the older Kageyama before leaving Japan. “Who would tell you, Shoyo-kun? You didn’t exactly looked for him.”

“I searched for him, Miwa-nee. I even had Kenma—”

“Then you stopped after three months.” Miwa’s lips curled in a quiet snarl; another alpha protecting Kageyama. Her anger flared in her eyes, seething like a hellfire ready to consume Shoyo in an instant. “ _Three months—_ then you went ahead and enjoyed yourself with that blond setter!”

The mention of Atsumu’s made Shoyo grit his teeth. He curled then flexed the hands he had on his lap while a grim line sat on his mouth. He hated the blaming game, but Shoyo couldn’t stop himself from retorting back. “You could’ve told me—” he said, then lowered his voice. “—and I have a daughter.”

“She’s not yours.”

It was obvious Miwa pushing him off. She had to resort in the most ridiculous reason to have Shoyo out of Kageyama’s sight. He wouldn’t allow it and the alpha bared his teeth in response. “She’s my daughter.”

“Bullshit.” Miwa shook her head, a sardonic smile crooked the corner of her mouth. She was being hostile and wasn’t afraid to tear Shoyo apart if she had too. Shoyo knew it. It was different from when he’d first met her and for the times Shoyo visited their home back in Miyagi. “You left my brother for your own selfishness. So, you have no rights to claim Ichika, Hinata Shoyo.”

 _There it was._ Her words hit home and a loud ringing in his ears deafened Shoyo. His determination to argue wavered. Barbed emotions curled around his spine, raked down to limbs, and pierced his guts. Shoyo didn’t know he got Kageyama pregnant, didn’t even think about it even after he was with the omega during his heat. It was few months before his flight to Brazil. He had his head somewhere else. The thought of knocking Kageyama up never once occurred in his head because he was too blind with the visions of his dreams.

He was stupid, much like what Tsukishima would say. Shoyo should’ve known better. He should’ve thought about it and seen the signs when he’d first heard of Kageyama’s disappearance. Tobio was selfless enough to bear everything on his own. The omega hid his pregnancy so Shoyo could reach his dreams, then gave up on his own dream to raise their daughter on his own.

 _And what the hell did Shoyo do after?_ Goddamn nothing. The alpha looked for him, but Miwa was right. Just after three months, Shoyo told Kenma to stop with the private investigations. He convinced himself of more selfish thoughts. In his head, Kageyama didn’t want to be found, and the only reason he could think of at that time was the omega had found someone else. Shoyo didn’t want to hear it, didn’t want it to be real. He was arrogant— _no, he was a coward._ He didn’t want Tobio to think that he was winning again and had the power to dump Shoyo. So, he stopped caring before the omega could break him, then on top of his selfish decisions, he made it so selfishly to direct his attention on Miya Atsumu.

It was a literal mess, and his heart was sinking to where it would be hard to dug it back up. Shoyo could’ve been there for Tobio and Ichika, but he wasn’t because of his goddamn selfishness _. But…_ He turned away from Miwa’s squinting eyes. “Let me at least meet her, Miwa-nee.” Shoyo said, pained eyes on Ichika who’s sitting on the bed, oblivious of their conversation. Soft hums flowing in the comfort of the small apartment as she was still brushing Tobio’s hair with her hand. “I want to meet her…”

Behind him, Miwa sighed. It sounded like she had no other choice but to compel with Shoyo’s yet again another selfish wish. “Tobio is selfless enough to acknowledge you can at least have that chance— Ichika-chan, can you come here for a second, little angel.”

 _Little angel._ It was a fitting nickname for the little girl who planted a kiss on her mother’s forehead while he was sleeping, high with fever. Then carefully climbed down the bed to obediently sit next to Miwa.

Shoyo couldn’t peel his eyes off his daughter.

Miwa jerked her head at the alpha’s direction across them. “Ichika-chan, this is Hinata Shoyo, your… erm—”

“I know him, Auntie.” Ichika cut her off, shocking the two adults.

Shoyo’s heart pounded inside its cage. Around it small buds of hope bloomed on the barren land. He thought Tobio erased the part of his life where Shoyo existed. Maybe physically, yes… But there’s also the hope that the omega talked about Shoyo.

Miwa seemed to want to the know the same thing as Shoyo. “Did Tobio told you…”

But Ichika shook her head, and a confused frown creased Shoyo’s forehead. “I just know that he’s my Dad… But I don’t want to talk to Hinata-san, Auntie Miwa.” She referred to him like he wasn’t literally looking at her. Her stubbornness radiated Kageyama Tobio at all sides, Shoyo wasn’t sure if his heart was breaking for it or amused because of it. “I can make Mama happy without him. I don’t need his help… and I don’t like people who makes my mommy cry.” Then Ichika stood up, excused herself with the bathtub ringing in the bathroom.

Even her back retreating without turning back to Shoyo was like watching Tobio from behind.

“You heard her.” Miwa said quietly.


	3. Hates him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichika knew about her father, and Hinata wanted to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update- and a short one. I had to rewrite this chapter because I wasn't satisfied with the initial one. Plus, my university workload was demanding as heck. This fic is what keeping me from drowning in toooo much stress! 
> 
> And also your appreciation and love for KageHina and Ichika. Thank you so much! 
> 
> I hope you'd like this chapter. <3

**CHAPTER 3**

It was comforting for Tobio to see Ichika running around the apartment like their usual morning. The pitter-patter of her footsteps as she moved around to get ready for school meant he hadn’t lost everything to fate. The sun was up; fighting off the cold of the winter morning inside the room where it smelled like vanilla and maple syrup from the pancake batter he was cooking.

“Ichika-chan, we should cut your hair.” Miwa said. She was sitting on the bed and Ichika was cross-legged in front of her, her long hair being fixed into two pigtails by the older Kageyama. “I’ll cut it for you when you get back from school.”

Ichika’s straight-cut bangs framed her heart-shaped face and cherry blossoms bloomed from the hair tie of her pigtails. Tobio indeed acknowledge her hair length as it swayed, gently hitting herself on the face with the end of her pigtails when Ichika shook her head to Miwa’s suggestion. “I like it long, Auntie Miwa. And Mama said I look cute with my hair long!”

“You’re always cute, little Ichika!” Miwa, like the lovestruck aunt she was, excitedly hugged her niece from behind and lovingly rubbed her cheek against Ichika’s apple-plump one. “And don’t listen to your Mama. When it comes to hair, he doesn’t know what he’s doing! He had these terrible bangs when he was in high school!”

Tobio rolled his eyes. “I can hear you, Miwa-nee.”

“I’m reminding you of your bad high school hair days.”

Ichika’s laugh livened the room even more. And a part of Tobio was put to ease. In all honesty, he woke up worried that he had scared Ichika from his episode. It wasn’t her first time to witness Tobio suddenly losing strength from his _heat_. Ever since Ichika understood his second gender, the little angel made so that she would be there to look after Tobio. She would quietly hand him his suppressants, humming lullabies like Tobio would do for her when she couldn’t fall asleep until the omega would calm down to sleep. But his previous occurrences weren’t as bad as yesterday’s.

Tobio practically lost himself to Hinata’s scent, the alpha’s warmth sipping through his system and enveloped the omega like a butterfly instead of a crow. He could remember the tingling of his skin, the flare of his nostrils against Hinata’s neck, searching for the spot where the rosewood scent was prominent. The omega waited with heightened urge to be devoured when Hinata had carried him. He burned with desire.

_And if he would be honest, Tobio hated he can’t control that part of himself._

He should be done with Hinata. There wasn’t anything left of them— if anything, their only connection was the girl peering at him with big brown eyes whilst her small hand clutched the front of Tobio’s apron. “Mama, are you okay? Does it still hurt?”

Hinata wasn’t dumb enough not to notice the semblance between him and Ichika. Even Miya Atsumu noted it. Tobio’s worry, before letting himself fall asleep due to the suppressants, was of Hinata taking their daughter away from him. He feared he would be waking up in an empty apartment, Ichika’s sun-filled smile missing from their usual mornings.

So, it was comforting he woke up with a certain heaviness on his chest. A reassuring weight meant he hadn’t lost everything. When Tobio woke up with Ichika sprawled on top of him, her cheek squished like a mochi where it rested on her mother’s chest, drool streamed the corner of her opened mouth— it made Tobio’s resolve strengthened. He couldn’t lose his daughter over some broken hearts.

Tobio planted a hand on top of her head, “I’m fine, sweetheart. But go and sit on the table now. I’ll get your breakfast ready.”

“Okay!” Ichika beamed, inclining her head on the side.

He quietly looked away to banish Hinata off his mind as the omega stacked pancakes on his daughter’s plate.

* * *

Fluffy pancakes were Ichika’s favourite for breakfast. In no time, she managed to polish her plate with gusto and swiftly emptied the glass of milk Tobio always had her drink in the morning.

“Their Christmas program is this Friday, isn’t it?” His sister asked as both of them watched Ichika disappeared in the bathroom to brush her teeth.

Tobio mumbled a yes, standing up to gather the plates. “She’s excited. We found her a dress yesterday.”

“Ichika, showed it to me.” Miwa chuckled. “I’ll be staying here until Saturday, so I’ll do her hair— but Tobio,” the omega craned his neck to see the worry in his sister’s eyes. “What are you gonna do with Shoyo-kun?”

He ignored the tiny pang in his heart at the mention of Hinata’s name. Tobio turned his back, suddenly washing plates had become interesting. He wanted to avoid the Hinata talk as long as it’s possibly could. But it seemed Miwa and Hinata had talked already while he was unconscious. Tobio wouldn’t deny the small inclination in his mind, wondering about how Hinata had found him. None of his friends knew where he was, and it was impossible of Miwa to blurt it out. _Maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe it was something more._ No matter what it was, it doesn’t matter anymore. Hinata didn’t want anything to do with them, most probably.

He was gone from the quiet apartment, from their life like always and Tobio didn’t want the small fact to matter anymore.

“Nothing.” He said, feigning the nonchalance in his tone. “I don’t think we’ll be seeing each other again.”

“Ichika knows about him.”

Tobio stiffened, the plate drowning under running water. There was a ringing in his ear— it was his heart rapidly increasing its beat as the omega whipped his head on Miwa’s direction. “Did you tell her?” his accusation tasted bitter on his tongue.

He didn’t really want Ichika to know about her father— he purposely left out that information, worried Tobio might hurt his daughter if he talked about Hinata. And somehow, a small consolation, Ichika never bothered to ask.

A crease on Miwa’s forehead appeared, and she jutted her hips after planting a hand on it. “I didn’t! And I would’ve asked you the same thing if she didn’t tell me she just know Hinata is her father— Maybe, it has something to do with their blood connection?”

Tobio casted a wary glance over the bathroom door where his daughter’s lively singing streaming out of the gap. It was possible. Like how Ichika knew Tobio was her mother, maybe she could’ve sensed Hinata also. But Tobio was more concerned how did Ichika feel after meeting the alpha? Did she cry? Was her cheeriness in the morning a façade not to make Tobio worry?

His eyes fleeted back to Miwa. His sister placed a worried hand on his shoulder, roaming at his face to read the emotion sitting on there. “Did Ichika said something else?”

Miwa sighed, quietly then took a step back. “I think it’s best to talk it out with her.”

Dread painfully held him. Unwanted thoughts came into his mind unbidden. If Hinata made her cry— if the alpha told Ichika he didn’t want her as his daughter, Tobio would raise hell for it. It would be a different matter if it were Ichika who was hurt… but he also couldn’t ignore the slight chance of Ichika wanting to meet her father. If that happened, was Tobio ready for it?

Tobio mulled about it. He kept asking himself like a broken record while shedding off the apron and gathered his daughter’s scarf and wool coat. Ichika was in front of the mirror, fixing her school uniform. He searched for any indication she wasn’t feeling well, for anything that could tell him what’s going on in her pretty little head. But as the doorbell went off, her optimism gave nothing away.

“I’ll get it!” Ichika announced, hurried steps crossing their small apartment.

Tobio didn’t mind it too much. It was probably one of their neighbours. The elder couple staying in the room below them came to love Ichika as their granddaughter and Chia-san would often visit in the morning to drop off freshly baked bread. However, the sound of the door being slammed down and Ichika’s shouts alerted him like a warning signal. “Mama! Grab a broom! There’s a stranger outside!”

“What?!” The omega scurried to grab the nearest weapon he could gathered; it was Ichika’s twirling baton from when she wanted to become a majorette. He grabbed Ichika and hid her behind him, his mother’s instinct kicking in like a wild bear ready to protect its baby. Miwa appeared in the living room with a face all bubbled up from her face wash, demanding what was happening. Tobio motioned her to be silent with a single finger on his lips, then took a peek on the peephole. However, standing outside wasn’t a strange person. It was Hinata holding his nose as if Ichika literally slammed the door on his face.

“H-Huh?” the omega mumbled. Tobio, question marks permeating his face, looked down on the little angel hugging him by his waist. _Did she just call her father a stranger?_

A little pout sat on her lips, blank eyes in an expressionless face as Ichika watched him cautiously opened the door. Tobio was wary of the repercussion in meeting Hinata, but he took his suppressants already after eating. It gave him a little consolation, though his jaw immediately clenched at the hint of rosewood drifting towards him and the omega cleared his throat to hide the discomfort. “What are you doing here?”

For one moment, Hinata’s eyes went down on Ichika still hanging on Tobio’s side like a little koala before meeting the omega’s eyes with his nose a little red. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“This early?”

The alpha reached behind his head. Awkwardness radiated off Hinata as he scratched his nape, now unable to meet Tobio eye to eye. “Y-you usually wakes up early to run.”

The memories of the two waking up early even after they graduated to run together resurfaced. It was another thing he hated aside from his omega’s unsatiable desire for the alpha— the memories. Revisiting the past wasn’t always a good thing. There were things better left buried. But one look of Hinata’s abashed face, watching flashback could easily be a norm for Tobio. 

He sighed, resting a hand on Ichika’s back. “Ah… yeah, but I’m about to drop Ichika off to school.” Tobio bit his lower lip, hesitating to utter the rest of his sentence. “If you can wait for me— I… I guess we can talk.” 

Abruptly, like how the sun would rise from the east to glorify a waking city, Hinata’s eyes lit with bright interest. “Can I come?!”

“H-huh…” His enthusiasm left Tobio stammering for an answer. It really has been a while since the omega looked at the sun-filled eyes of one Hinata Shoyo. It was the usual pull of his eyes that made him stutter an indecisive agreement. “I-I guess.”

“No, Mama!” Ichika moved in-between him and Hinata, gazing up with a profound furrow of her eyebrows. “You told me it’s bad to talk to strangers so you can’t talk to him.”

Tobio was really confused, eyes going back and forth between Ichika’s irritation and Hinata’s slumped shoulders. It was obvious when Hinata lost the excitement, and the omega kept wondering as Ichika led him back inside the room why on earth his daughter kept referring to Hinata as a stranger when Miwa mentioned she knew exactly who Hinata was.

Tobio blinked twice. His sister was standing in the middle of room when the echo of slammed door once again reverberated in their apartment from behind him. “Ichika-chan, don’t slam the door too much. The neighbours might complain for the noise,” Miwa reprimanded but it was spoken with an obvious humour, her lips split apart on a grinning amusement.

“I’m sorry, Auntie Miwa,” she replied. Ichika then picked her coat where Tobio laid it on the bed, buttoning it up to her chin. “Mama, can we go to school now?”

The omega was still rigid as a statue, eyes volleying between the two girls. His confusion might’ve been glaring on his face because Miwa took one look of him still blinking and howled a laugh. She clicked her fingers before Tobio’s face. “Oi, Tobio. Ichika is waiting for you. She’s gonna be late for school!”

“U-uhm…” Tobio mentally shook his head, forcefully shoving his thoughts out of his mind. Miwa was right. If he wanted to know, he should talk it out with Ichika. But that could wait until she’s back from school. He nodded at his daughter’s waiting face. “Okay— Ichika, don’t forget your scarf.”

The omega grabbed Ichika’s black shoes from the rack so she could slip them on as he wore a thick coat on top of his hoodie, tugging the hood from behind. His daughter’s elated demeanour seemed to dim while she was fixing her shoes, a cute frown still visible on her face.

Tobio bit his lower lip, just quietly watching her bid goodbye to Miwa.

“See you later, Ichika-chan!” his sister waved a hand, then on Tobio’s direction, she sent a wink.

The omega just made a face, reaching to hold Ichika’s hand then the two of them stepped out of the apartment. However, it was unexpected to see Hinata waiting in the cold. Tobio’s attention almost automatically drifted down to his daughter. She’s openly glaring at Hinata and her tiny hand squeezed Tobio’s.

“I—”

Ichika cut Hinata off. “Mama, do I have to go to school today?”

“Yeah?” Tobio answered her with a crease of his own forehead, deepened after Ichika blew an abrupt breath. White smoke puffed out of her mouth like tiny cloud and the omega just had to question her back. “Why? It’s your last week before Christmas break.”

“Hm… Okay. Let’s go, Mama!”

Ichika tugged him away and Tobio looked back to Hinata, still standing before their closed apartment door. It’s plain as the blue winter sky to see what Hinata wanted from his questioning eyes. And Tobio gave a swift nod of his head before adjusting his steps to match with Ichika. He walked next to her.

And from behind them, he knew Hinata would be following them closely.

The small voice inside his head seemed to know what Hinata wanted to talk about. But the little girl holding his tightly seemed to not want the same thing. Ichika was aware of Hinata’s standing in their life— their blood connection as father and daughter. But by the looks of it, she didn’t want anything to do with Hinata. Or Miwa misunderstood the little angel after all? What if Ichika didn’t really know Hinata was her father? How would Tobio explained the situation to her?

 _Hey, little angel. Mama got himself pregnant because he thought he can be selfish with Hinata and prevent him from leaving Japan._ Tobio wouldn’t be able to say those words. They felt wrong. And in the end, he ran away. The selfish part of him blamed Hinata for leaving, but there was also that gnawing in his guts telling him Tobio hid himself from everyone so that Hinata could go for his dreams without looking back, without regretting anything.

He couldn’t let Ichika feel like she was a mistake. She was a choice Tobio made, a blessing in his life no matter where it all began. And he wouldn’t forgive himself if Ichika thought of anything less about herself.

“Mama, should we call the police?” She slightly moved her head to glance back at Hinata walking behind them. “The stranger’s following us.”

“Ichika…”

She raised her chin for a quick glance of Tobio’s face. But before he could open his mouth, Ichika looked straight ahead where her school was. The small public elementary school was only a ten-minute walk from their apartment, and he hadn’t even noticed they’ve arrived.

“Chi-chan!” At the gate, Ichika’s friends were waiting for her. Two girls of her age waved at their direction. Their enthusiasm was invitation for his daughter to walk together with them. But Ichika made no action of leaving Tobio’s side. She was mere watching them while still holding her mother’s hand.

“Maya-chan and Mia-chan are waiting for you, Ichika.” He said softly, and then kneeled down to cup her face with his gloved hands. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

Her eyes fleet downwards, on her shoes, and when she met Tobio in the eyes, the omega instantly found the answers he’d been asking himself since waking up. “Mama, are you really okay?”

As her mother, Tobio should’ve noticed it. When Ichika called Hinata a stranger despite knowing he was her father, he should’ve known his daughter was doing it all for his sake. Her glaring disliked of the alpha was for him. Tobio’s sudden heat didn’t traumatized her— it made her worry to the point the little girl, who don’t always cry, had her eyes glossing up with unshed tears.

 _What have I ever done to deserve you, Ichika?_ Tobio asked himself as the little girl mirrored his action. Ichika cupped his cheek with her small hand and he rubbed it on the soft material of her gloves, smelling her natural strawberry scent. Like where Tobio could instantly distinguish Hinata’s rosewood scent, his mother’s instinct would pick the sweet strawberry scent of his daughter wherever they may be.

_Like father, like daughter indeed._

He smiled. A genuine one where it should ease the worry sitting in Ichika’s heart for his wellbeing. “I’m okay, little angel.” Tobio added. “If he did something bad, I’ll punch the runt.” 

The omega even showed her his closed fist, and Ichika was giggling in no time. “Mama, you said a bad word!” The thin crease on the side of her eyes appeared as Ichika smiled at him, shaming the sun overhead. “But Mama is the best and strongest!”

Her face lighting back up was enough. His words might’ve been a lie— Tobio, wasn’t sure if he could ever be the high school version of himself. He’d grown up, matured to be Ichika’s mother. But for now, he raised his chin, chest puffing with feigned pride. “I am— so go ahead. I’ll pick you up later after school, okay?” The omega planted a kiss on her forehead, then urged Ichika to move along.

She kept turning back as his daughter approached her friends, the tiny crow keychain swinging from where it was hanging on the zipper of her bag. “I love you, Ichika!”

Ichika waved a hand. “I love you too, Mama!”

Ichika’s twins friend met with her, both of them also greeted Tobio with a wave of their hands. He was watching them animatedly started talking with each, catching up about their weekends like what they would do every Monday morning, when Hinata wordlessly stepped next to him.

His eyes were also on his daughter. “She hates me, doesn’t she?”

Tobio inhaled a lungful of air, diminishing the flicker of flame threatening to start a wildfire inside his chest. He made sure Ichika was out of sight, then glanced down to meet Hinata’s autumn-eyes. “Let’s talk.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, kudos and comments are highly appreciated! Thank you. 
> 
> Stay safe out there! <3


	4. Scar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, for Tobio.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Yes, before you start reading this, I suggest playing 'I don't want you back' by AJ Mitchell on the background then ready your tissues!! 
> 
> Thanks for patiently waiting and your continuous support! <3 
> 
> Stay safe out there!! <3

**CHAPTER 4**

Sitting on Ichika’s bookshelf was a book titled _Omegaverse made easy._ Tobio bought it from a used bookstore when his daughter insisted on learning more about second genders. 

And a particular page piqued Ichika’s interest. _“Mama, what is a soul bond?”_

At that time, the only thing Tobio said was a vague answer. _“It’s when two people accepted their love for each other.”_ Ichika was still a child, she didn’t need to know yet that a soul bond between an alpha and omega was more than being a mate, was more than accepting love.

It was an intangible connection— but it meant everything to an omega.

When an omega found his soul bond— his life mate, every thread of his soul was connected to that alpha. His scent, his warmth, his smile. Everything of that alpha would become the centre of an omega’s world. He would wake up in the morning for the alpha. He would live for the alpha’s sake. It’s a thread woven by fate, either to be an omega’s salvation or damnation.

Tobio looked up to the sky from bench they were sitting on. Hinata’s eyes were on him, he was sure of it, but the omega couldn’t pull away his eyes from the glory of the sun overhead. It was at the centre of the blue sky, full cotton-looking clouds surrounded it like they were attracted to its light. As if they were pulled to be around it. But the sky, clouds and sun were part of an unmoving picture. A single bird flying across was the only thing that seemed to detach itself from the picture.

Hinata broke the silence by faking a cough. “Aren’t you cold, Kageyama?”

Unlike Tobio, Hinata was covered from top to bottom. A baseball cap hid the orange mop of his head. Underneath the thick winter coat, he also wearing a hoodie like Tobio with a famous brand logo in the middle. His jeans were paired with VANS sneakers— Hinata looked like a guy who’s casually dressed for a date than the volleyball athlete he was.

“I’m fine,” Tobio answered, slipping his hands inside the pocket of his hoodie. “I’m used to the cold.”

“Because of the past six years?”

Tobio said nothing after to answer it, didn’t even move. But his eyes remained on Hinata sliding down the cold bench and buried half of his face in the black scarf wounded around his neck. Bags lined underneath his eyes like the alpha didn’t sleep the night well.

He went on.

“I didn’t hear about your disappearance until I heard from Oikawa-san you dropped off the Olympics… Why didn’t you tell me about Ichika, _Tobio?_ ”

Something lodge on Tobio’s throat— nostalgia, anger, the air he sucked after hearing his name roll out of Hinata’s tongue. Undeniably, he cursed the urge to cry because of a simple thing.

Tobio swallowed hard. “Would you have stayed if I told you I was pregnant?”

The omega looked away. It was Hinata’s turn to be speechless. They were back at the playground near Tobio and Ichika’s apartment. Deserted of kids who’d run around and squeak with humour, silence enveloped them like the winter wind.

“Everyone was really worried about, even Tsukishima helped to look for your whereabouts.” Hinata answered after few minutes. Tobio couldn’t pick if it were his silence that stung more or his refusal to answer his question.

But he shouldn’t expect Hinata to be able to answer it— and the Kageyama Tobio who played with the alpha was already ascertained of Hinata’s answer. The alpha’s eyes were determined; clear and serious like how they would gleam when Hinata was obsessing on a volleyball game.

His fingers curled into tight fists, stopping the tremors of his hand muscles. It was clear as water that Hinata would’ve still jumped on the flight to Brazil. His dream was everything to him. It was something that Tobio couldn’t win against. It’s an all in it for the alpha. The omega knew that. He even prepared himself to support Hinata, didn’t he? That’s why he held Ichika as a secret. But even so, the tiny crack of his heart refused to listen to rationality.

However, no matter how bad he was shaking in the inside, Tobio feigned composure. “Ichika has a Christmas programme in school, I’ll contact Suga-san after that.”

“Do you have his number?”

“I’ll ask Miwa-nee for it.”

Hinata moved to hunch over, elbows rested on his thighs and he steepled his fingers like he was about to submerge himself in deep thoughts. His loud sigh vapored into a billowy puff. “Nobody really knew where you are? Not even Suga-san?”

“I cut-off everything when I moved here.” Tobio answered with a half-hearted shrug. “The only person I kept contact with was my sister.”

“Why?” There was a strain on Hinata’s voice, like he was holding back himself from shouting. “Why are you shouldering everything again, Kageyama when there are pe—”

“Again, Hinata.” Tobio repeated. “ _Would you have stayed if I told you I was pregnant?_ ” His tone was condescending, and the omega was shaking his head after, aggrieved. “You wouldn’t. What’s the difference if I told you or anyone else?”

“This isn’t about me—”

“Ichika is your daughter, dumbass!” Tobio half-yelled, irreversibly. The anger was after all the one what was lodge in his throat. He could feel it rising like manic flame slithering underneath his skin, then Tobio directed the heat on Hinata’s eyes. “Don’t say it has nothing to do with you, when everything revolved around you from the beginning!”

Hinata went still from where he was sitting on the opposite side the bench. The omega watched how the clear sky dimmed in his eyes, turned glassy at how cold they turned against the fire in Tobio’s eyes.

“You’re turning tables, Kageyama.” He said with his voice dripping with the same anger burning in Tobio’s chest. “Everything? Fuck that! If Ichika didn’t know for some reason that I’m her father, you wouldn’t even tell her about me!”

It was a good thing they were the only people in the area. Both of them couldn’t contain the mirage of emotions— at least, for Tobio that was. He ignored the omega resisting inside him as hard as he could, then recalled Ichika’s face. Her bright eyes. Her bright smile she got from her father.

“You’re right,” Tobio said more calmly, but a certain amount of venom still coated his next words. “You’re right, Shoyo. Ichika never asked about you and even if she did, I wouldn’t tell her about you.”

In a heartbeat, Hinata reached in the distance between them. The hold he had on Tobio’s arm was painful. A wince flashed itself, but the omega made no action to move. He, instead, stared directly at the slick anger warping Hinata’s matured face. “She’s my daughter, Kageyama! I have the right to—”

Tobio snapped.

“Shut the fuck up!” The image of Ichika crying face surfaced in Tobio’s mind. Ignoring the pull of rosewood, he gripped the wrist of Hinata’s hand that was holding him with the same fury. “I’m her mother, Hinata! I raised her as best as I could without you! Don’t talk about rights when you have no intention of loving her!”

“Why the fuck would you think about that!”

“Because you would choose volleyball over her!” Tobio didn’t want Hinata to see him weak— even though, it was all he could be when it comes to the alpha. But as it was, behind sadness was anger. And the anger turned into streaming hot tears on his cheeks, burning the cold biting his skin. Tobio spat. “I won’t let anything hurt her. Not anyone, not you!”

Hinata appeared shocked, wide eyes roamed at Tobio’s crying face then his hand went limp. It freed the omega to bury his face in his palms and to save any self-respect he had for himself. “She’s a good kid, Hinata… the best daughter. She repressed herself because me… She held things back because of my ineptitude,” His inside was quaking with tremor from the sorrow he’d been holding. “Even now she’s holding herself back for me… that’s why Ichika is pretending you’re a stranger even though she knows who you are.”

The frigid air stirred the frozen grass, and Tobio felt Hinata sit before him. He pulled the hands covering the omega’s face, then Hinata held his tear-stained cheeks with both of his hands. The shining sun casted dramatic shadows on the alpha’s face.

“Ichika… she…” The omega watched Hinata swallowed hard, his eyes spoke thousand things and gleamed with unshed tears. Tobio choked on a sob. “Ichika knows what she was doing… Tobio— I…” the mouth that would always cast a bright smile was now quivering before Tobio as if Hinata couldn’t pick the right words. “It was my fault,” he said in the end. “Tobio it was my fault. Sorry wouldn't be enough but… B-but—"

Unable to finish his sentence, Hinata buried his own face on Tobio’s open palms. Heat from the alpha’s tears seared his skin. Muffled sobs attuned with Tobio’s own grief spreading through him like a plague. His heart couldn’t decide if it wanted to beat or stay still. It was breaking. It was _… it wasn’t healing._

At the realization, Tobio threw his head back to the sky, supressing his cry and searched the calm sea of blue for what he should say.

Hinata was before him, crying and apologizing. Before, it would’ve been what mattered the most for the omega. If he heard the words, the past Tobio would’ve forgiven the alpha in an instant. Hinata Shoyo was after all the sun in his own universe.

But…

“It’s okay…” Tobio spoke softly, prompting Hinata to lift his face. He could feel his anger ebbing away. “It’s already okay, Shoyo.”

The alpha stared at him silently, eyes pained, wet and afraid. “It’s not okay, Tobio…” he said, barely audible.

“It is.” He insisted. “Winter would soon end, then spring will come.”

“Is that your way of saying we can’t start all over again?” Hurt crossed Hinata’s face like a massive wave.

Tobio exhaled a shuddering breath.

“Hinata, _I loved you._ ” The hole inside him was gaping. If someone looked through it, there was Shoyo’s eyes. Their memories together— from when he met Shoyo for the first time in middle school, then found him again in high school. _“It was fun being with you.”_ He added, a soft smile sitting painfully in his mouth. The two were inseparable back then— they were connected in everything. _“It was fun to play and share everything with you.”_ Volleyball. Meat buns. Even sloppy kisses shared in the shadows of the storage room. His first heat was with Hinata. His first love was with Hinata. “But can I tell you what’s the saddest thing about falling in love with you?”

The alpha stared at him intently, lips slightly apart where his ragged breathing came in and out. Tears still rolled down his cheek, and Tobio caught one with his finger then continued on.

“It didn’t made me whole, Shoyo…” He watched Hinata crumble into a mess because of his words. It pained him to see it before his eyes, but if he stopped saying anything, when would he be given the chance to speak out the words caged in the empty side of his heart? “When I loved you— instead of feeling complete because I found you, I slowly lost myself.”

Tobio remembered the days he would spend watching the sunrise with his head on Shoyo’s chest only to wake up from it. The memories of him reaching for Shoyo would always end with the omega curling back to himself because Hinata wanted to play volleyball more.

“I tore myself bit by bit so that I could love you freely and be with you…” Tobio shut his eyes. He didn’t want anything extravagant— he loved playing volleyball with the alpha. But there were days he would be constantly haunted that partners in volleyball was all they could ever me. He remembered the girls confessing to the alpha. He remembered the smile he would give them like what he would give Tobio. Not even once, Shoyo never told Tobio he loved the omega back. He never assured Tobio that he wanted more from what they were back then as much as the omega did. “When you left for Brazil…”

The rest of his words were drowned in the sobs tore his chest open. 

Hinata lifted a hand to brush the tears away from Tobio’s cheek, and then he called him. “Tobio…”

To hear Hinata call his name full of yearning— it would’ve been a dream come true if it was six years ago. Today, it was just another stake in Tobio’s heart. He shook his head, wanting to continue. “When I held Ichika in my arms, when I heard her first cry when she was born— it made me realized something, Shoyo.” For a while, Tobio had his voice firm but in that second, it broke like a fragile glass. “M-My love for you guaranteed me nothing but heartbreak.”

“Then I’ll be better!” Hinata shouted, face full of desperation.

One shake of his head… then another. And Tobio broke down completely. “It’s not about you being better, Shoyo…” He said between sobs, tears were heavier than before. “It’s about me saving myself from you. I’m weak when it comes to you, broken because of you… But Ichika makes me feel complete.” They say crying could flush out the pain, even the anger behind it but all it done for Tobio was for him to feel more like a glass half-empty. “She’s doing her best to protect me in her own way… And I told you, I won’t let anyone hurt Ichika.” Tobio brushed off the tear on the corner of Hinata’s eye, then a ghost of smile showed itself on his grief-streaked face. “Not even me. I’m not going to hurt her by choosing you.”

Hinata started to chew on his lower lip. More tears welled up in his eyes after he looked away. “It’s already impossible, ha?”

“You don’t have to force yourself just because you are Ichika’s father.”

“I’m not forcing anything!” The alpha turned his head back towards Tobio and his anger flashed from the tears.

Suddenly, everything felt surreal. The words he wanted to hear before were finally out there in the open. But Tobio wiped his own tears. “That’s long and overdue, Shoyo. Don’t you think?”

Hinata stubbornly shook his head, refusing to hear anything. Then using his two hands, he held both of Tobio’s. “What about our mating bond?”

Upon mentioning it, Tobio felt the bond. It was there— a thin, invisible strand that connected the alpha and omega. He still could feel its faint tug between them. Tobio knew the omega in him was insisting to go and follow the string where it would lead back in Shoyo’s life again. _But…_

The smile on Tobio’s mouth slowly… slowly morphed into something brimming with sadness and regret. “Weren’t you the first to reject it when you flew to Brazil?”

At his words, Hinata hung his head. His shoulders slumped and Tobio knew it wasn’t for the cold that whispered around them. “What about for Ichika?”

Tobio slowly inhaled. The resignation in his Hinata’s tone crushed crystal salt into his heart. “You know,” he let out a humourless laugh. “being a parent makes you realise a lot of things. And it’s because that I’m Ichika’s mother that I will say no. It’s time for me to choose myself and Ichika, Shoyo… And you’re with Atsumu-san, aren’t you?”

“That’s—”

Tobio cut him off by the shake of his head.

“It’s okay, Shoyo,” he consoled, voice like gossamer drifting in the wind. “If you want to be there for Ichika, then I won’t stop you from asking her. It’s Ichika’s decision if she wants to accept you or not. But for me… I won’t deny that until now I still care for you, but it’s not healthy anymore.

“Let me save myself, Hinata.” Tobio turned his eyes to the sky. His words were a quiet plea. “The Gods know how much of myself I was willing to give you no matter how messed-up I was already and it’s not healthy. I fell so in love with you and it’s not healthy… So, please… Let me go? If not for me, then for your daughter.”

Tobio didn’t wait for Hinata’s answer. He went and stood up, leaving the alpha behind kneeling on the frosted ground. Each step he took away from him, it was like six years ago all over again. He wasn’t even aware that the broken pieces of his heart could still be shattered more into possible pieces. The thread that connected them— it wrapped itself around Tobio’s neck, suffocating him with supressed sobs.

He was running in a second. The way back to their apartment was blurry, tears fell in steady stream like the sky opened itself and rained down on him.

When Miwa opened the door, her eyes widened in surprise. And Tobio couldn’t hold the heartbreak any longer. He doubled in a dishevelled heap of sorrow and longing in his sister’s arms. He broke down, incomplete all over again, like a part of himself was left behind where Hinata Shoyo was.

“Shh…” Miwa whispered, rubbing his back to console him and Tobio leaned his head on her shoulder. “What happened?”

The omega answered with a hoarse voice. “I talked to Shoyo…”

Miwa muttered a curse underneath her breath but said nothing after. She held Tobio tighter; one hand still rubbing his back, consoling his loud sobs, while the other was on his palm. When their Grandfather died, Tobio didn’t cry, but Miwa massaged his palm to let him know she was there, his sister knew how much his death grieved Tobio.

And as he sobbed on her chest, Miwa continued to drew circles on his palm as if she were drawing small comfort for Tobio.

“It’ll be okay, Tobio…” She softly expressed, and he wanted nothing but to believe her words. “You’re strong.”

Tobio shut off his eyes as a kiss was planted on his forehead.

Miwa was on her third year of high school when she had her first heartbreak. But instead of Tobio comforting her, it was his sister who gave out a lecture.

_“Listen to me, Tobio. There’s something about love— however you have it, however you’ve had it, it never goes away. Once it touched you, you’re permanently scarred.”_

Tobio would carry Hinata Shoyo as scar for how long he’d be alive— but he won’t remained sad and broken, anymore. He wasn’t the only sun in Tobio’s galaxy anymore.


	5. Let it Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four of them met. Ichika's Christmas Programme and a little thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before anything else, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE KING HIMSELF AND ICHIKA'S MAMA (in this fic), KAGEYAMA TOBIO!! 
> 
> So heyyyy! I ignored my university works to finish this chapter because I wanted to post it on his birthday no matter what! I haven't proofread this so grammatical errors may occur. fufufu. 
> 
> Additionally, you can our Haikyuu discord! Come join and say hello! We're all friendly! https://discord.gg/3QH82Sba 
> 
> THANK YOU ALWAYS FOR YOUR UNCONDITIONAL SUPPORT! 
> 
> Stay safe, lovelies! <3

**CHAPTER 5**

“Mama, _do you wanna build a snowman?_ ” Ichika gleefully asked in a song-song tone, smiling widely.

Her excitement was radiating. It’s the last day of school before Christmas break, but it’s also the day of her Christmas Programme. She’d been anticipating for it since her teacher signed her up for the small contest. Underneath her thick winter coat was the Elsa-like blue dress they’ve purchased the other day. Her hair was styled by her Aunt Miwa in a loose rope cascading down her back, little snowflake clips braided in.

Tobio smiled at his little snow princess.

“We still have time before the programme starts. We can make small snowmen…” he said.

The omega watched as his daughter jumped over a small puddle of water. The streets were slippery and wet after being salted. Around them, the snow from last night capped roofs and trees with white fluffy sheet. Icy crystals hung on twigs, shattering like fragile diamonds after a bird landed to rest its wings. The toothy bite of the winter wind made his muscles shudder but Tobio couldn’t help but admire the place. If there had been one thing, he liked about Hokkaido’s winter season, it’s how it looked like a Winter Wonderland that could easily bring forth a sunny excitement on Ichika’s face— excited to lie on the sheet of snow to make snow angels or eat ramen underneath the warmth of their small _kotatsu._

However, instead of a smile, Ichika pursed her lips. “No, mama. You’re supposed to say, _‘go away, Ichika!’_ so I could sing _‘okay, bye…’_ ” she sulked, still perfectly catching on the tune of one of the songs in her favourite Disney movie.

At this point, Tobio could recite the song lyrics easily despite not being good with English. The two of them watched the same movie over and over again after Miwa gifted them a DVD player. And for the rare times Ichika had said what she wanted, his daughter requested to watch the sequel in the cinema. Miwa introduced some other Disney movies too, but Ichika would come back to watch _Frozen_ , after. She’d sing the songs whenever in the bath, hum along whenever she’s helping Tobio with the chores. And for days, she’d been practicing a certain song for her Christmas Programme.

Giving in with a sigh, Tobio asked Ichika to start all over again. He deliberately cleared his throat, then answered her back with the same tune. _“Go away, Ichika…”_ and waited.

But, even after a few minutes, Ichika didn’t follow through. When Tobio looked down what got her quiet, her cheeks were puffed with air like two soft mochis and eyebrows meeting on a single line. Her big-puppy brown eyes glazed up at him. “Why are you telling me to go away, Mama? You don’t love Ichika anymore?”

“What—” Tobio was dumbfounded, unable to continue on with his sentence.

 _Didn’t she tell me to go along?! Was that a mistake?! Did I hurt her?_ However, as Tobio fumbled internally for words, mouth gaping like a struck koi fish, Ichika shrugged off his hold then ran away. Her laugh echoed on the quiet street. “Got you, Mama!”

The omega blinked profusely at Ichika’s playful grin. “You…” then his daughter shrieked, running away from her mother as Tobio broke out on a jog to catch her. “Come back here— Ichika!”

Tobio dove on the wet street, his jeans sipping the snow water as he kneeled. The omega exhaled. Just in time, he managed to catch Ichika before his daughter hit the slippery road. The little angel looked up, surprise etched on her face, then began giggling. “Mama, nice receive!”

Shaking his head, there’s only so much the omega could do with his too-happy daughter and decided to gaze up at the person she bumped into after rounding a corner to apologize. “I’m—”

“Yeah, nice receive.” He was cut off by a familiar voice muffled with a surgical mask. Sakusa Kiyoomi pulled down the baseball cap covering most his unruly curls, but Tobio could still see the indifference in the black of his eyes, shifting from the omega to his daughter in Tobio’s arms. “You’ll drop her on the ground if you kept her unsteady like that.”

“Uhm…” Ichika reacted, confused.

Tobio softly sucked in a breath.

His first instinct was to look around, to search for the familiar orange-mop. He hadn’t met Hinata again after their talk, and it seemed like Hinata was respecting Tobio’s decision. He heard from Miwa about the alpha stopping by, while Tobio was at the grocery store, and had a talk with Ichika. His daughter didn’t mention anything about it, and Tobio wondered if that was Hinata’s farewell. But as Sakusa crouched in front of them and willingly touched Ichika to set her right, Tobio bit down on his lower lip and kept his head down.

“T-thank you?” Ichika said, still confused.

Tobio gently turned his daughter around and started patting her arms for any injuries. But he knew deep down it was a pretence, to avoid meeting the same brown eyes that possibly might be looking at them if Hinata was with Sakusa, after all. “Thank you,” he mumbled. “B-but why are you in this area, Sakusa-san?”

“What?!” Ichika whipped her head back so fast Tobio worried she would’ve broken her neck. “Excuse me, Mister, but are you really Sakusa-san?!”

Ever since hearing the news of Hinata’s return and joining a first division V-league team from Miwa, Tobio had been extensively avoiding watching any televised volleyball game, especially of the Jackals. There’s no warrant he won’t crumble nor cry, or Ichika not picking up that Hinata was the boy in the few high school stories he told her. However, it was the Olympics 2020, just last year when he couldn’t stay away from it anymore.

Ichika was just four years old, but anxiety gnawed at him that day. He would be lying if Tobio, as Hinata’s former setter, said he wasn’t curious how much the spiker improved himself. But he couldn’t concentrate at the game at all. Not when Ichika’s eyes were practically glued in the television. The omega readied himself for questions, debating again and again with himself if he was ready to speak about Hinata Shoyo. Thinking back now, it was perhaps on that day she’d known Hinata was her father— perhaps the first time she felt the connection.

But amongst all the players in the National Team, she wasn’t exactly watching Hinata. Ichika had her attention on the rising ace of the team, Sakusa Kiyoomi and his mind-ogling bendy wrists.

After the man in question bobbed his head in agreement, going as far as taking off his hat and curls fell on his forehead, Ichika turned back to her mother with sparkles prancing in her eyes. “Oh my gosh, Mama! It’s Sakusa-san!”

Her voice was especially exhilarated, rising in thrill. And albeit reluctant, Tobio softly sighed at it. He gently pulled Ichika closer and wrapped his arms around her small figure to settle down for a bit the now too excited daughter of his. “Not too loud, Ichika. It’s still a little early.” He said, then met Sakusa’s watchful eyes. “I’m sorry, Sakusa-san. She’s a big fan of yours.”

Ichika stubbornly craned her head, though her arms wounded around Tobio’s neck. “I’m going to be a setter like Mama! Can I toss to Sakusa-san?”

“Ichika.” Tobio intercepted, a little firm.

Back in the All-Japan Youth Training Camp, Tobio succinctly remembered that Sakusa wasn’t really known for his patience. He’s meticulous and precise, hated wasting time as much he despised germs. It was hard to read the other man’s expression behind his mask and unreadable eyes, and Tobio wouldn’t like it if Ichika got rejected by her favourite spiker.

However, Sakusa hummed and to the omega’s surprise, his black eyes softened when he looked at Tobio’s little angel. “I’m sure you’re a good setter as your mom, so I will let you set for me.”

Ichika made a little elated noise. “Really? Really?!” Her sparkling eyes went back and forth between Tobio and Sakusa. “Mama, can we go back to the apartment and get my ball?!”

Tobio softly chuckled. He could practically see cherub wings enthusiastically fluttering on Ichika’s back. “We’re on our way to your Christmas Programme, remember?”

The grin cracked her face faltered.

“Oh. I forgot…” she whispered, teeth gnawing the bottom of her lips “B-but…” As Ichika’s mother, there were many things about Ichika that doesn’t surprise Tobio any longer. But it was still amusing to see how her mood just seemed to deflate after his words, then in a matter of seconds, she was all excited all over again with shoulders perked up and face beaming towards Sakusa. “Sakusa-san should come with us to my school!”

“H-huh?” The Jackals player blinked in confusion.

“Now, Ichika. Calm down, little angel.” Tobio lightly pinch the tip of Ichika nose to shift her attention back to him. “Sakusa-san is probably busy, we can’t bother him.”

“Ooh…” Ichika pursed her lips in thought. Then after mulling as well as subtly sulking, she moved out Tobio’s hold to bow her head on Sakusa’s direction. “I’m sorry, Sakusa-san…”

“No… it’s fine,” Sakusa said. He glanced at Tobio once, before giving Ichika a nod of his head. “I was only looking for a convenience store to buy something to eat— but if you’re inviting me, then I can go.”

Once again, Ichika’s bright, full-on wide smile shamed the sun overhead. “My school canteen makes the best _tamago_ sandwich!”

“Is it?” Sakusa stood up. Then while answering Ichika, he offered a hand to Tobio. “Can I go and buy a sandwich before your programme?”

To say Tobio was surprised was an understatement. THE Sakusa Kiyoomi, who hated physical contact and possible human germs, was offering a hand to help him stand. The omega’s widened eyes moved from the hand, back up to Sakusa’s indifferent face while chatting with Ichika.

“I can help you buy one! The canteen lady likes me, maybe she’ll give you an extra!”

“I’ll be in your care, then.” Sakusa answered, quietly chuckling. Then his eyes casted down to the still kneeling Tobio. “Hey.”

Tobio blinked.

“Mama, are you hurt?” Ichika’s worried face entered Tobio’s field of vision. “Your face is red! Are you okay?!”

“I— Uh…” Tobio shook out his surprise. Then, without meeting Sakusa’s eyes, he accepted his hand and the latter pulled him up to stand. “I’m okay, Ichika. But we have to hurry. You might be late.”

Ichika inclined her head like baby bird. But without thinking about it too much, her excitement was back on her face. “Okay! We still going to buy Sakusa-san’s sandwich too!”

He would’ve been able to stand by himself, but Sakusa’s waiting eyes were too… _intimidating_ to ignore. Tobio held the hand that took Sakusa’s to his chest, kneading the palm. But as he was doing so, the Jackal player, again wordlessly, shoved a handkerchief to his direction. “You should wipe the stain on your jeans.”

Tobio looked down on the satin handkerchief, on the wet patches staining his jeans by the knees, then to the man walking next to Ichika. Confusion and shock turned into a tingling sensation in his guts. Did Sakusa Kiyoomi had a personality change within the span of six years?

* * *

But that was how the four of them met at the gates of Ichika’s school.

Ichika left Sakusa’s side to stand in front of Tobio. Her eyes were on him, but Tobio wandered his own. He couldn’t look at her, couldn’t look at Sakusa who’s eyes were straight ahead. He couldn’t meet with Hinata’s eyes looking at the omega while Miya Atsumu stood next to the alpha.

“You mentioned a Christmas programme at her school, so I asked around when is it.” Hinata said.

Tobio dismissed the certain pull of his voice. It wasn’t happy nor sad. If anything, the pull could easily be mistaken as irritation. But the omega stopped himself from dwelling on it. Instead, he merely gave a quick nod.

“Quick question— Omi-omi, what are ye doing here?” Atsumu asked.

“Ichika invited me.”

“Mama…” Suddenly, Ichika tugged on the hem of Tobio’s shirt. Her eyes were searching for an answer to her unspoken question.

He smiled a little. If it was Ichika who told Hinata, then it would’ve been alright. That was something between them. If Hinata wanted to be a father to Ichika— Tobio wouldn’t be a hindrance for his daughter to have that fatherly love.

“Tobio-kun…” Before Tobio could avoid the glint on Atsumu’s eyes as he casted a glance at him, the Jackals setter crouched next to them. A smirk sat lazily on his mouth, then shifted his attention to Tobio’s daughter. “Can we watch yer programme too, Ichika-chan?”

The little angel inclined her head to see the setter’s face, then gazed up to her mother’s eyes. Tobio could see the conflicting emotions swirling in the brown of her eyes after Ichika quickly glanced back to Hinata’s direction, then back to Tobio’s face again. “U-uhm…”

She was torn, and it broke Tobio’s heart a little.

In all honesty, Tobio wouldn’t mind it if Ichika decided to accept Hinata. He would be genuinely happy if Hinata did choose to be her father. At least, if someone asked again about her father, Ichika wouldn’t need to shrug her shoulder and smile in nonchalance. Tobio didn’t want that for her, didn’t want for his daughter to hold back from the happiness that might come from a paternal love.

So, as soft as he could muster, Tobio said, “It’s okay, Ichika.”

Ichika shouldn’t even feel conflicted. What happened between Tobio and Hinata— that was on their account and was already done. A closed chapter, no looking back.

She was trying to read Tobio. The omega hid every single sliver of negative emotion inside his heart and widened the smile sitting on his face. The lights from the morning sun flickered at the small quiver of worry behind her brown orbs. Ichika wanted to protect Tobio as much as she could, and it was pinching on his heart because Tobio wanted his daughter to be the happiest girl no matter what the cost.

“O-okay…” she relented after a few heartbeats. “If it’s okay with Mama, then okay.”

“Shoyo-kun, ye heard yer daughter.”

 _Hide everything…_ Tobio told himself.

The five of them started for the elementary gymnasium where the programme would be held. Ichika was met by her friends and teachers. Tobio chuckled as his daughter looked back once more as if trying to check on him before he’d wave her goodbye.

The omega felt his presence before Sakusa even spoke.

“You raised her well.” His black eyes were also watching Ichika near the stage. She twirled, billowing the tulle skirt of her dress as Maya-chan and Mia-chan gushed about how she looked exactly like a little Elsa but with black hair. “She pulls everyone to her, doesn’t she?”

The omega could tell the underlying message there. _She’s so much like Hinata…_ Like how people were drawn to Hinata back in high school, people would gather around Ichika seeking warmth from her sun-filled smile. Like Hinata, she brought light to everyone she met.

“Mama, I’m gonna go win so watch me!”

Tobio’s face yield to the fondness for his daughter and shouted back. “Go get them, sweetheart!”

“Yeah!” Ichika pumped her two fists in the air.

Beside him, Sakusa chuckled. He too, uncharacteristically, shouted a good luck to Ichika. Tobio’s little angel grinned at her favourite spiker before following her teacher to the backstage.

Hinata and Atsumu already found a spot. Tobio didn’t really want to sit next to them. But the other setter was making a ruckus of calling their names again and again, until him and Sakusa relented and occupied the seats Atsumu specifically reserved for the two.

The blond setter peeked from where he was sitting on Hinata’s left. “I heard it’s a talent portion. What’s Ichika-chan gonna do?”

Tobio was sitting on Sakusa’s right. So, between him and Atsumu, they had Hinata and Sakusa sitting next to each other. The omega cleared his throat, steadying his voice all the while avoiding Hinata’s eyes. “She wanted to sing.”

“Hmm…” Atsumu hummed like he was acknowledging something. “She can sing like Shoyo-kun too, ha.”

There was no need for him to answer that. Before his emotions could even betray him, Tobio casted his eyes towards the stage. Of course, Atsumu knew about Hinata’s hidden talent.

He’d imagine Hinata serenading the blond setter under the moonlight, on the nights he couldn’t sleep.

 _See, Tobio,_ he called out to himself. _That part of Hinata wasn’t only for you to know. You weren’t special at all._

Kageyama Miwa was well-informed, keeping in touch with Kiyoko who hired Tobio’s sister for her and Tanaka’s wedding. Haiba Alisa, Miwa’s regular client, also provided Miwa with news she heard from her brother, Lev. The news of Hinata and Atsumu’s relationship came from Lev after a small reunion between Nekoma and Karasuno on the day of Hinata’s debut in V-League.

Tobio wouldn’t be able to count on ten fingers the nights he cried next to Ichika after he heard of it. He relentlessly questioned his worth. Wasn’t he enough for Hinata? He probably wasn’t. Tobio probably wasn’t good enough for Hinata, not even as a setter so he turned to Atsumu, who promised to set for him one day.

There’s a foul taste inside his mouth. It was too soon. _This was too soon._ Four days wasn’t enough for Tobio to forget all of the years he spent with alpha, even the past six years without him. But Hinata was already mercilessly shoving the life he had with Atsumu on Tobio’s face.

A part of him, the omega who’s stuck in a hopeless dream, wanted to cry and scream.

 _But they’re done… done. Done! Hinata and Tobio were done. DONE!_ He repeated the mantra as if turning the key to wind himself back like a broken puppet. Tobio was choosing himself and Ichika. He begged Hinata to let him go. So, his heart had no rights to be enraged with Atsumu holding Hinata’s hand. Nor feel satisfied when the alpha shook the blond setter’s hold. _They are fucking done!_

Someone pat Tobio from behind him. It was Miwa who’s catching on her breath, running a gloved hand through her short hair. “Glad I made it…”

_Barely made it._

As if on cue, the instrumental of _Let it Go_ started playing the second Miwa sat on her chair. The chattering rounded the gym ceased. And even though Ichika was not on the stage yet, her cold voice singing the first lines of the song filled the space. It was lilting, a soft lullaby that could put even the stars, which were constantly wide awake in the night, sound asleep. Then Ichika appeared from the sides, strutted with natural grace until she reached the middle of the stage.

 _“Let it go, let it go. Can’t hold it back anymore. Let it go, let it go…”_ The little snow princess flared and swirled her hands as if magic would fall from her open palms.

Perhaps she was the magic.

“I taught her that…” Miwa whispered, eliciting a quiet snicker from Tobio.

“Well, I made her, Miwa-nee.”

“Gross!” The older Kageyama quietly retorted, shoving Tobio forward.

Tobio just chuckled again, but he caught Hinata’s figure in his peripheral view. At that second, he felt the immense pride for Ichika, for himself who raised Ichika well. The alpha was hunched forward, jaw kissing the cemented floor of the gymnasium and unable to tear his eyes away from his daughter.

Hinata shouldn’t be surprise— Ichika was a little version of himself. His genes were too strong and Ichika inherited almost everything from the alpha. If Tobio would close his eyes, in Ichika’s voice, he would lose himself to the nights Hinata would sing for him. Cold as the December nights, the world outside of Tobio’s room in Miyagi encroached with heavy snow. But much like their vibrant self, summer season would encompass the place they were in.

Hinata Shoyo and Kageyama Ichika brought life to everything, light to every dark corners.

And as Tobio leaned on the back of the folding chair, the scent of rosewood and strawberries danced in the air. His surroundings turned into a field of sunflower. He lied down on the grass, under the full clouds and gentle twittering of birds. He was full, but at the same time, his body morphed into a spectre— a mere soul tethered between worlds. He was drifting but not lost anymore. He flowed like stream of soft notes. He soared to every note that were rich and full.

_“I’m never going back! The past is in the past!”_

“Wow…” He heard Sakusa whisper next to him.

For one second, Tobio was nothing. But Ichika made him everything.

_“Let it go, let it go…”_

When he’d opened his eyes, Tobio met Ichika’s eyes directly on him. He wondered then if his daughter chose the song for him, for her voice to be a symbol. Somewhere around the globe, the was sun was just about to rise. Tobio wondered if the smile she gave him could be like that— like the first sunrise behind snow-capped mountains, behind broken hearts and healing souls.

The song rose once more with Ichika hitting the high notes with precision, Tobio shuddered and deeply filled his lungs with air. Goosebumps rose on his arms. Maybe he shouldn’t compare Hinata and Ichika, at all. They might be father and daughter, but where Hinata’s voice could only make Tobio feel empty from the memories, Ichika filled him with so much happiness, Tobio felt even he could be a sun.

When the song ended, his daughter bowed to the waist and Tobio was up from his chair, clapping overzealously and pride permeating his chest like fire from summer blaze spreading through him. The crowd joined him, her classmates jumping and cheering for her name. But he could tell where the magic of her voice ended— it left people light, floating and free.

Like Sakusa who’s murmuring while clapping on his seat. “That was— Shit… wow!”

His sister was out of her chair, tears sprung at the corner of her eyes. “Our Ichika is the best, right!” Miwa proudly declared, reaching to hug Tobio. The latter gave his sister a pat on the back. “She’s the best, Tobio!”

Everyone who knew him, the parents of Ichika’s classmates, congratulated Tobio even though Ichika hadn’t even won yet. He accepted everything. Tobio’s lips split in a smile from ear to ear.

However, it was Hinata’s reaction that shocked him the most.

After Miwa pulled from the hug, Tobio hadn’t steadied himself yet when the alpha pulled him into a hug. Sakusa’s complains were rendered into nothing more but a buzzing of a bee. Tobio’s eyes widened as he witnessed hurt crossed Atsumu’s side profile, and the blond setter looked away.

But he didn’t have the time to think about it. The alpha didn’t give him a second to collect his thought and Hinata’s next words, whispered against his ear, made Tobio clutched the alpha’s back like a mindless fool. “Thank you…” he said softly against the hard pounding in Tobio’s chest. “Thank you for raising _our_ daughter, Tobio.””

Like a mindless fool, indeed. _Ichika, little angel, how can Mama let it go?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to join our Discord and say hi! https://discord.gg/3QH82Sba


	6. Ramen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little confrontation and ramen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI! First of all, belated Merry Christmas! I hope you all had a great day, joyous and peaceful. I'm sorry for the little delay on the update- I was busy eating and enjoying the little vacation before I drown myself with stress over University works. 
> 
> As usual, thank you for your support! Your kudos and comments keeps me motivated to keep writing even when I'm doubting myself if I could even write for real. HAHAHA! 
> 
> See you at the end notes!!

**CHAPTER 6**

“Mama! Mama! Mamaaa!” An _oof–_ stumbled out of Tobio’s lips after Ichika’s knee hit his stomach when she had jumped on him at full speed. But almost immediately, it was replaced with a proud grin. “Mama! I won! My heart was going _boink boink_ at first! But it went _gwaaah!_ when they called my name!”

Tobio laughed at how she animatedly explained her heart racing. Ichika bounced her hand like a little bunny hopping over carrot fields before it turned into a rocket, shooting it up in the sky. The winter sun filtering the wide space alighted her eyes to be more golden than hazel brown, dazzling sparkles danced around the speckles of gold.

“Congratulations, little angel!” The omega said, black eyes softening in fondness. And as it was, when Tobio rubbed the tip of his nose against Ichika’s button nose, the little show of affection elicited a giggle from her. The vibrant brown of her eyes hid behind closed eyelids on full-on wide smile Ichika had. “You’re the best, Ichika.”

“That she is!” Miwa sidled next to Tobio. Her lithe hand reached for Ichika’s head, gently guiding it down for the older Kageyama be able to caress her own nose against her niece’ apple-plump cheek. “Our baby Ichika is the best, no matter what.”

“I’m the best!” At the words of her family, Ichika puffed her chest. The gold-plated medal around her small neck glinted with the pride she wore.

Anyone who heard her words couldn’t disagree. But instead, the people surrounded them, from familiar faces of her classmates to their parents, congratulated Ichika for winning. Tobio set her down so she could mingle with her friends. A boy from her class rushed towards Ichika. Innocent heart eyes were directed at her as the boy gushed how amazing Ichika’s performance was.

“You know what, Tobio—” Miwa remarked, leaning to whisper against his ear. “Does Ichika really need another parent-figure when you’ve done the job perfectly on your own?”

Two sets of eyes watched Ichika thanked the parents of her classmate who had come to congratulate her. Tobio could pinpoint their delight at Ichika’s impeccable social manners. Both of her hands were folded in front of her as Ichika bowed to her waist at a respectful angle. Tobio practically grew up as a misunderstood kid with an immense pride and insecurities that got in his way of socializing. He didn’t want for the same thing to happen to his daughter, so the omega taught Ichika as much as he could.

But as Hinata stepped in front of her, warily congratulating his daughter, deep inside Tobio was aware there were things he couldn’t teach Ichika with just a book.

“It’s not for me to decide, Miwa-nee.” He said, powerless to rip his eyes off Hinata and Ichika conversing with each other. He’d almost smile when the alpha looked like he was about to cry after his daughter had graced him with a toothy smile. “If Ichika wants Hinata to be her father, I’m not going to say no to that.”

“What about your heart?”

“What about my heart?” Tobio turned to her sister’s face contorted with a deep-set of worry. “I don’t have it. My daughter has my heart, Miwa-nee. It’ll be fine.”

“ _‘Fine’_ lost its meaning on you, Tobio.”

The omega scrunched his nose in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“It’s a constant word for you whenever Hinata Shoyo is involved.”

 _Was it?_ But before Tobio could voice-out his question, Ichika approached them with Hinata in tow. Her little finger clutched the hem of his shirt and tugged it to shift Tobio’s attention on her. “Mama… uhm—” she started, albeit a little hesitant. “… is it okay if Hinata-san treats us ramen?”

“R-ramen?” Tobio repeated, eyebrows squishing together.

“Ramen.” Ichika confirmed.

 _Why ramen?_ Next to him, Miwa snickered, though it sounded full of sarcasm rather than humorous. Black-eyed intent zeroed on Hinata with undeniable irate. “That’s a little sneaky, Shoyo-kun. A way to your daughter’s heart is through her stomach, huh?”

Hinata smiled. “I’ll take every chance I can get, Miwa-nee.”

Miwa returned the smile. A zap of electricity seemed to travel between the two alphas. Both had genial friendliness pasted on their face, however, none had the genuine intent to be civil. Ichika and Tobio shifted their eyes back and forth on the two. In the end, his daughter moved to hug one of Tobio’s legs and gazed up with a deflated expression.

“A-am I being selfish, Mama?”

Her mature question took Tobio aback, rapidly blinking as if it would help him digest her words. Tobio wasn’t expecting the word ‘selfish’ to come out of his daughter— out of the little girl who’d selflessly repressed herself to protect her mother. And in an instant, the shock turned into a flare of anger. The omega kneeled down and hug her body close. One hand was pressed against Ichika’s ear, deafening her from the whisper of negativity.

“No, sweetheart…” Tobio said softly. But the eyes that met the look of shock on Miwa and Hinata’s face was dark and grim. “You’re not selfish, baby. And of course, it’s fine for Hinata to treat us ramen… It’s fine.”

His little angel pulled back just enough for Tobio to see the tears that glossed her eyes and tiny quiver of her lips. “Y-you won’t be sad?”

“No, baby.” Tobio let a ghost of smile to reassure her further. “I have you. Mama will never be sad.”

“Oh my gosh!” Miwa exclaimed after she had recovered from the shock. “I’m so sorry, little angel. It wasn’t… I don’t—”

Ichika’s braided hair swayed at the shake of her head. She moved to hug her Auntie Miwa, inclining her little head against Miwa’s shoulder. And as Tobio watched them silently, his own stomach was about to turn upside-down. The words he’d spoken— about his heart being fine as long as it was with Ichika, he didn’t know the strength of those words. But Tobio would beg if it’s to protect Ichika from feeling like she had to give up herself for others.

It was Tobio’s decision to bore her to life when all uncertainty revolved around his and Hinata’s life. Ichika shouldn’t feel that she had to carry the burden of their choices. She was the only best thing that came out of those choices. If it were for Ichika— as her mother, Tobio would do all the giving if it’s only for his daughter to take for herself.

Willing his face hide the anguish, Tobio turned to Hinata who kept standing behind him. “R-Ramen…” he silently cursed for the way his voice wobbled. “Ichika has a favourite place. L-Let’s go there.”

Majority of the crowd had already left the gymnasium after the awarding ceremony. The only ones that stayed back were couple of staff members, janitors clearing the plastic chairs and Maya and Mia’s family. Miwa greeted Maya and Mia’s parents, already having a pleasant conversation after meeting for several times. Ichika was with her best friends, seemingly regained her cheeriness as Tobio heard her answer Maya-chan’s question about their Christmas plans.

Tobio would’ve liked to join the conversation, but Hinata’s unreadable face gripped him. Unlike Ichika’s eyes turning golden, the brownness in Hinata’s eyes appeared to have darkened into pitch black under the sunlight… Or from the emotions swirling inside them. His stare roamed at Tobio’s face… reading. From the depth of his eyes to the forced smile sitting on Tobio’s mouth. And like an invisible hand, where Hinata’s eyes landed, it left a cold wake on the omega’s skin.

And in one heartbeat, the alpha shortened the distance with a big step.

“You’re reading everything wrong again, Kageyama.” Hinata whispered in the space left between them. _“When are you going to ask me for reasons?”_

_Wrong?_

Tobio fiercely stared back despite the clog in his throat, ignoring the cold hand gripping the base of his spine like a taloned monster. What was wrong? When Miya Atsumu couldn’t even look at them straight. From where he was standing at the pedestal next to Sakusa, the omega could tell how the other setter was supressing his emotions by balling his fists. Of course, it’s going to hurt to see the person you loved walking away from you— Tobio knew the feelings so well. 

_That_ was what’s wrong. Tobio causing pain to another person was what’s wrong. Hinata Shoyo never belonged to the omega anyway— not once, not ever.

Tobio’s mouth went dry, sucking in a deliberate breath to flutter away the blooming hurt inside his empty chest.

“I’m not reading anything wrong, Hinata. _It’s all wrong._ ” His voice caving back in the shadows. “Just standing like this who are we hurting? It’s not even ourselves anymore. With my choices, I’ve been hurting Ichika when I wanted to avoid that. With your choices, you’re hurting Atsumu-san—”

“I’m not with Atsumu-san, anymore, if that’s what you’re talking about.” And as if to prove his point, Tobio watched in shock as Hinata approached his waiting teammates.

Atsumu reached for Hinata’s arm. But the latter’s attention was onto Sakusa Kiyoomi. The two talked in hushed tone. Though for the words Tobio couldn’t hear, Atsumu’s face morphed into myriad of hurt and anger. He casted those emotions towards Tobio and the omega stiffened in place.

He was stoic, like a statue left to watch the blond setter’s mouth move in a rapid pace until Hinata was shaking his head and pulling away from Atsumu’s hold. Sakusa nodded at Tobio’s direction before taking the hand that held Hinata and dragged Atsumu away from the place. The blond setter was coaxed to leave easily as he was beyond shock.

Tobio felt the same. In his disbelief, he missed when Ichika’s friends said goodbye and had his daughter hugging his leg, also watching the two leave. “Aww. Sakusa-san is leaving already? But he said he will let me toss to him.”

The familiar shaky voice was talking to Tobio inside his head. The blooming hurt wasn’t just a red flower anymore. It expanded into a field, a heaviness deep within his core. Inside his chest, the heart he thought wasn’t his anymore was back inside— it was howling, crying, and begging for a door to open so that it could find its way back to where _it_ should belong.

Hinata squatted before Ichika. “They’re returning to Osaka, today. You can toss to me, instead, if you want to play volleyball.”

“Is Hinata-san any good?”

“I don’t know. Let’s ask your mother.” Then eyes, adorned with seriousness and playfulness, shifted upwards to Tobio’s face. “Am I any good, Tobio?”

Tobio internally shook his head in denial. _Hinata hadn’t just done what he had done._ But it was too… it seared inside the omega’s mind whether he liked it or not. It unfurled him. Hinata’s voice, delivered by the Gods, it returned to Tobio like salvation and punishment. _When are you going to ask me for reasons?_ He didn’t want it to sound like an answer to the question he’d been asking all along. Tobio didn’t want the crow wings outstretching slowly as Hinata kept looking at the omega. He didn’t want to leap back in the air.

“Mama?”

The years behind them… behind Tobio, they were crumbling cliffs. Once he’d taken off, Tobio would stumble back and would break his wings again. It wasn’t the same thing anymore when he was on his own and blindly in love with Hinata Shoyo.

Ichika was there.

“Tobio? Hey!”

If Tobio let himself be pushed down the abyss again, free falling within the void once again and with no hope of landing unbroken— it wasn’t just his pain anymore. Tobio would hurt Ichika’s angel wings… and… and…

“MAMA!”

Tobio hadn’t even notice he was breathing heavily, muscle shaking like tectonic plates. Miwa and Hinata gathered around him on the floor. The anxiety that held him made the omega doubled over, clutching his stomach like he was about to vomit everything he’d eaten. Ichika’s warm hands cupped his cheeks, her skin wet from the tears spilling out of Tobio’s eyes.

Concern marked his daughter’s face. “Does it hurt somewhere, Mama?”

“Is your _heat_ back?!” Miwa’s agitated voice was followed by a squeeze on his shoulder.

Tobio heaved a shaky breath. “I-I’m fine. M-Mama is fine…”

The omega leaned his face furthermore to his daughter’s touch. He let himself be comforted with the presence of the only person that tethered him completely from hiding himself back in the shadows. Ichika carefully brushed his tears away, then gave her mother a tight hug. The omega shut his eyes, not wanting to see anymore. _He’s fine. Ichika’s here and so everything is fine._

But another presence knocked at his door.

A calloused hand, much like Tobio’s, roughed from the years of playing volleyball took the omega’s open palm. Unconsciously, he counted. _One… two… three…_ And the omega nearly combusted with the memories that reeled back in his head like a black and white movie.

_I’m here, Tobio._

It was his and Hinata’s pre-game ritual back in high school or for when one of them was about to sink down in the pool of negative emotions. It was a promise. An assurance. And the emotion brimming in Hinata’s eyes resembled something like what the three taps of fingers meant: _I’m here, okay?_

It’s not yet okay. But for now, “Thank you—” Tobio said, finally meeting Hinata’s eyes. “for the ramen.”

* * *

They parted ways with Miwa near Tobio and Ichika’s apartment building, excusing herself that she needed to pack. The night before, Tobio talked about their Christmas plans with Ichika. She was on-board to spend the Christmas in Tokyo. However, Miwa said she didn’t have anything going on in the big city and would be best for Ichika to see Miyagi where the two grew up.

It’s a little unsettling to be back in a place full of memories, but Ichika was eager to go. Especially now that she’s hearing all sorts of stories from the man walking next to her.

“The store near our school sells the best meat buns!” Hinata enthusiastically said that prompted the same excitement into Ichika’s voice.

“Meat buns!”

Tobio’s face was still blotchy from the episode he just had. So, half of his face was buried on the blanket scarf he wrapped around his neck. From where he was wordlessly trailing behind the two, Ichika and Hinata were an epitome of father and daughter even though Ichika refused to hold Hinata’s hand.

 _What the hell did Hinata tell Ichika for the time he visited her?_ Tobio wasn’t complaining. He was genuinely curious for Ichika’s change of heart. She was too adamant to ignore her father before. And yet, here they were. The two of them talking like old friends about to have ramen for lunch.

“You like meat buns, too?” Hinata inclined his head to the right.

Ichika reclined hers to the left, looking up to her father. “Mama likes curry buns, but I like red bean buns!”

 _No._ Tobio scrunched his nose. _Ichika likes to eat. Like what Miwa-nee said, he’s probably winning his daughter over with food._

At least, she got the big appetite from the two of them.

“Curry buns, huh… Tobio made me pay for a lot of curry buns before.”

“That’s because you’re always losing to me.”

Tobio’s voice was muffled by the scarf but somehow, Hinata still heard it. The alpha craned his head back, a grin splitting his mouth from ear to ear. “Should we bet on something, again?”

He only hummed as an answer and looked away. The street on the way to the ramen shop was quiet as usual. The whispering breeze of the cold wind was the only thing that could be heard aside for the voice of the two. Their neighbourhood wasn’t particularly big anyway. Mostly, people knew each other.

When he was searching for a place, Tobio specifically chose a place that wasn’t known. He was really hoping no one would recognize him nor would found him.

But what could Tobio expect? Hinata was a defiant bastard. His stubbornness was one of redeeming quality after all— though, at this point, the omega couldn’t fully agree that he was grateful for it.

Ichika pointed the small ramen shop the two of them loved. Hinata slid the wooden door open, urging Ichika to go in first then waited for Tobio. But before the omega could step inside, the alpha stopped him with a hand around his arm.

Tobio raised an eyebrow. “The person who eats the most ramen wins. And if I won, please let Natsu and my mom meet Ichika.”

There was a sliver of desperation in Hinata’s face. Even if Hinata hadn’t proposed the bet, the omega would’ve let it happen, anyway. His Ichika deserved to meet people Tobio knew would love her. But for the desperation that wasn’t always in Hinata’s face, Tobio nodded in agreement.

The warmth inside the shop burned the frigid cold on Tobio’s skin. The gentle conversation from other customers was a lilting background music as he settled next to Ichika at the bar. A woman on her late forties was stirring the broth over the single stove. The umami scent wafting from pot enveloped the cosy shop like a close hug, nudging Tobio’s stomach.

“I haven’t seen you both in a while—” Chiba-san, the owner, then acknowledge the man who occupied the seat on Ichika’s right. “— and who is this man?”

“He’s…” Ichika turned her face towards Tobio, who reluctantly gave a smile. Then to Hinata who only peered at her with the same curious eyes they share. “… love is complicated, Chiba-san. But he’s Hinata-san.” Ichika replied with a cheeky smile.

Tobio flushed right away and fumbled to cover his daughter’s mouth. “I-Ichika!”

“Pfft—” the noodle chef, Chiba-san’s son, bowed his head to suppress his laugh. Chiba-san, however, grinned at Tobio’s daughter. The black shirt she’d don was underneath a worn white-apron, a kitchen towel dangling over one of her shoulders that shook from her hearty laugh. “You’re right about that, Ichika-chan— but sometimes we needed to follow complicated recipes to have good food.”

“Chiba-san, please don’t…”

The older woman merely winked at Tobio. “You want the usual? Or should I give you a minute for this Hinata-san?” she queried, moving her eyes at Hinata who’s studying the laminated menu quite seriously as if he weren’t at the centre of an inner joke.

“I’ll have the usual, but can you make mine a big bowl? Hinata’s as well, please.” Tobio replied, looking away in embarrassment.

“Mine, too! I want a big bowl, too!” Ichika leaned into the countertop, raising her hand in excitement.

“Oh? We have a big appetite today, then? I’ll add more pork slices in yours, Ichika-chan because you look extra cute today.”

“Thank you! We had a Christmas contest today and I won!” Ichika then raised the medal she was still wearing to showcase it to the older woman. “See!”

“Ah! I’ll have caramel pudding for you as well!”

“Chiba-san, please don’t spoil her too much.” Tobio interrupted, chuckling a little at the woman’s fawning over Ichika.

“Nonsense! When you have a cute child like Ichika-chan you’ll want to spoil her even when she grows up!” then she was gone to the back room, where black drapes separated it from the shopfront. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo----- the turn of this story, I'm sorry in advance if it wouldn't turn to what you're expecting it to be. But I had a very serious conversation with my mind and what I really want for this fic. It would eventually make sense and I've been leaving hints to how it would end. But I hope for now, you would trust me and keep reading this fic. 
> 
> On the other note, I've been thinking if I should write a second book for this but for the next generation, specifically Ichika's story. Would anyone like that? This fic still has his ways, but just for future reference, would you like to read Ichika's story? 
> 
> Stay safe as usual! And see you on the next update. <3


	7. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little surprise.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, sorry for the late update. The second New Year's Day was over, I was overwhelmed by stress and anxiety over college works. It had been pretty hectic and even though I wanted to write, I hadn't had the time to spare since it was back to back deadlines. So, I'm sorry and thank you for patiently waiting! I won't abandon this fic, you can follow me on Twitter for updates when I would update, though. But again, thank you so much! 
> 
> On the other hand, sorry if this one felt rush or short. I did my best. I still have more deadlines coming this week but once my exams are over, I promised to make it up. I hope someone still wants to read this. 
> 
> Thank you so much, and I hope every single one of you are doing well and okay. Keep safe everyone!

**CHAPTER 7**

_The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too._

_-Ernest Hemingway_

“Cotton candies!”

Indeed, the clouds hovering in the azure canvass looked like cotton candies, the noon sun providing the reddish orange hue to define their shape. From where she was sitting, Ichika’s face was glued against the window. Her mochi-like cheek all rounded and squished as she watched the houses and building blur into lines of an asymmetric panorama.

The _shinkansen_ zoomed past Tokyo, on its way to Miyagi where Tobio’s past was waiting for him.

The omega breathed out a heavy sigh, but careful not to make it audible for Ichika to hear. She’d been excited since boarding the plane from Hokkaido to Tokyo, but she didn’t even care about the glamorous lights of the city. When Miwa asked if she wanted to stay for a few days with her, Tobio’s daughter joyously rejected it even though it had been a dream of hers to visit the place where Miwa was working.

Instead, Ichika was all bouncing and excited for her first trip to Miyagi.

She heard all sorts of stories from Hinata before the man left ahead of them. And those stories made up her new travel dreams. She wanted to visit Karasuno High School and Sakanoshita store for the meat buns. To see the gym where Tobio practiced, where he’d spend lunch breaks with the other first years and their old house with its own volleyball net in the backyard.

She was all about the places he’d runaway from. But he didn’t want that little fact to tamper the bright sparkles in her eyes because of his selfish worries. So Tobio kept the worry to himself and smiled back.

Having enough of the view, Ichika sat back properly and tugged the sleeve of Tobio’s shirt. “Mama, are we going to meet your friends?”

An innocent question he was quite hesitant to answer. But after few seconds of deliberation, a hint of a smile curved the corners of Tobio’s mouth. “Yeah,” he said. “We’re visiting a senpai’s house first before going to our old house.”

“Senpai… Is that the person on the phone?”

He nodded. “Yeah, it’s Suga-san. He’s also the other setter—”

“Setter!”

Tobio let out a soft laugh, amused of his daughter’s eyes beaming at the idea of meeting another setter. He supposed… it was the opposite of how he’d been back in high school. Where his eyes used to gleam with competitiveness, Ichika’s hazel eyes are bright like the setting sun, full of amazement.

“Is he good, Mama?! Your senpai!” Ichika asked, lifting herself a little by propping her arms on the arm rest of Tobio’s seat.

The omega pushed back the bangs covering her forehead, then running his hand through the long length of her hair. He’d wonder for a second if Ichika would still want to play the sport if she heard of the unwritten rule. His sister dropped volleyball because Miwa didn’t want to sport a short hair, and that particularity lies within Ichika. His daughter loved the flow of her thick, straight raven strands. She enjoyed being a little doll for her auntie, trying on different hairstyle and giving out soft smiles whenever Tobio’s brushing it for her before going to sleep.

She’d hate a short hair, that’s for sure. But whatever Ichika decided in the future, Tobio would be there to support her no matter what.

“He’s one of the best people and setter that I know.” He answered, sincerity and respect evident for his senpai. “So, make sure to greet them properly, okay? Tanaka-san and Noya-san also like being called senpai.”

“What if I call them Uncles?” Her big brown eyes blinked at him. “Is that fine, Mama? Will they like it?” 

“I’m sure they will.” Tobio answered gently, matching the smile sitting on his face.

Ichika’s a sweet child, they’d love her. And it should be Tobio who should be worrying.

When the omega first contacted his senpai, Suga was shouting and crying on the phone. Tobio couldn’t blame him, but his heart had been heavy for it. Sugawara was Tobio’s confidant— someone who worried for Tobio like a mother and bonded with him like an older brother. Suga heard every single worries Tobio had in his relationship with Hinata. He was his go-to person, so Tobio really couldn’t blame Suga for calling him an asshole.

He heard nothing about forgiving Tobio for running away. He heard nothing what Suga thought of him, what the others were thinking. Tobio knew that the Karasuno searched high and low for him before Hinata even mentioned it. Because just as soon Tobio arrived in Hokkaido, Miwa tried to guilt him for saying nothing to his former teammates. But she wasn’t doing it for their sake. It was for him, again. Just so Tobio would have another person caring for him and Ichika. But he’d given them so much trouble already and his baggage wasn’t something for Suga to carry as well.

But he’d hoped— for while the _shinkansen_ remained on its track, Tobio hoped that once he and Ichika arrived at the address Suga had given him, he was all ready to reunite with his old family.

* * *

“Sawamura Daichi.” Sugawara— _Sawamura_ Koushi uttered his husband’s name through the phone with strained patience, fingers pinching the bridge of his nose. “You have ten minutes to be here with the cake I asked you to buy before I divorce your sorry ass!”

Daichi’s protest ceased with Suga ending the call. The latter had been nervous, pacing back and forth with the jitters he didn’t have on his wedding day, coming onto him like a ticking bomb. His teeth gnawed his bottom lip, eyes kept gazing back up at the wall clock and counting on the hours that ticked away.

The small receiving area of his and Daichi’s home was well-decorated by his _kouhais_ who were at the back tending to the barbeque. Balloons were pumped with air, strewn across the floor, and hovering above the table of food was the large banner with words: “Welcome Home!” printed in uppercase letters.

When Hinata had left for Brazil, due to personal engagement, none of the second or third years managed to send him off. It was a farewell just amongst his fellow first years, their old volleyball coach and supervisor, plus Natsu. But of all people, Suga hadn’t expected to hear from Tsukishima that Kageyama didn’t show up at airport.

His partner leaving had been a constant worry inside his kouhai’s head. But the way Kageyama had been acting at the farewell party they threw for Hinata, Suga assumed the omega made peace with it. Especially even after when Tobio said he’d already talked it with the alpha, Hinata went through with his plan. He thought Kageyama was okay with it after all. And it would just be another 2 years of long-distance relationship they would come through together.

So, it had been a huge surprise during one humid day when he heard no one could get a hold of Kageyama. Yamaguchi tried, even Tsukishima did his best. They did everything they could to find him or even just to have a single news of him. But nothing sprouted from the earth, and the only thing that assured them Kageyama wasn’t dead in the bottom of Sumida river was Miwa’s fine disposition.

But Suga should’ve seen Kageyama’s action miles away. The omega trusted him most. The moment the words _“If Hinata left… he’s leaving me behind— but I should be okay with it, Suga-san.”_ left Kageyama’s mouth, Suga should’ve anticipated him running away. Nothing was ever fine in Kageyama’s okay when Hinata was involved.

The alpha was a constant _but_ in Kageyama’s life, after all.

So, it was even a bigger surprise when Kageyama contacted him first. And that of Hinata confirmed Kageyama was hiding at the northernmost part of Japan. The cold wind of Miyagi is marking the day that finally arrived for Karasuno to meet their genius setter— with a little surprise Hinata would say nothing more.

“You’re too impatient.” Daichi appeared from the front door. In his hands was a medium-sized box from a famous pastry shop in town. “Hinata said the _shinkansen_ won’t arrive until 6.”

“Hmm…” Suga replied, taking the box, and setting it down on the middle of the table. “Go helped Tanaka with the barbeque. I don’t think he knows what he’s doing.”

“Isn’t Nishinoya with him?”

“That’s why you should go and check on them.”

Daichi mumbled a protest but went straight ahead. The joyous conversation fleeted in the air once he’d opened the back door: Nishinoya and Tanaka boisterous shouting over the fire, a techno music coming out the speakers with the other second years’ laughter ringing over it. Suga caught a glimpse of the first years all gathered on one table. Tsukishima didn’t brought his husband with him, but he was talking with Yamaguchi and his wife, Yachi. They all stuck together after everything and it warmed his heart as their senior.

If only what was going on with Kageyama and Hinata could be easily resolved… Suga knew it was wistful thinking. But he couldn’t help it— for Kageyama’s happiness, he’d be willing to offer the Gods whatever they would ask of him.

“Suga.”

“Yeah?” Suga turned to see Kiyoko with her swollen belly. If there had been any good surprises it was their former manager and Tanaka getting married just right after Daichi and Suga did. And it should be anytime soon that an angel would be added in their family. “You okay?”

“I am, but Hinata texted. They’re almost here.”

His heart pounded in anticipation, then Suga was out yelling at people in the back. “Daichi! Get on with those barbeque— And Asahi, have you contacted Ukai-san and Takeda-sensei?!”

“T-they said they’ll be a little late, Suga.” Asahi murmured, almost hiding from Suga’s narrowing gaze.

“Suga, calm down… We’re all—” But Daichi never managed to finish his sentence. His eyes widened, gaping at something— _or someone–_ behind Sugawara.

The noise of the night ceased, warped into single-noted ring in his ear. The chattering, the music— everything dissipated into a hissing sound as if it came from the slithering cold that ran down his spine. Slowly, like a marionette on string, Sugawara twisted around and saw Kageyama Tobio stepping onto the yard.

Confliction ran across his face, mixed with embarrassment that tinge his cheek. Suga almost chuckled since he’d look like the boy who ran after him after hearing the conditions of Seijoh for their practice match.

“I-I’m…” Kageyama started, voice low in a whisper. “I’m sorry!”

Then, Suga was running. His smaller body clashed against Kageyama’s well-built, holding him tight like a mother who found her son after years of being astray. All the heavy rocks residing inside him melted like nothing upon seeing him. “Thank goodness you’re okay…” Suga’s voice broke into a glass filled of emotions. Hot tears seared the corner of his eyes, the cold he felt earlier slowly dissolving into a puddle of warmth inside his chest as Kageyama returned the hug. “I’m glad you’re okay, Tobio…”

“Suga-san… I’m—” Suga was shaking his head, cutting off Kageyama’s apologies. He stepped out of the hug just enough to see the sharp cheeks and onyx eyes gleaming with tears. It’s already more than enough that he knew his kouhai looked healthy and good. He didn’t need anything else.

“It’s okay, Tobio.” Suga added. “Welcome home.”

Kageyama lowered his head, hiding his tears. “I’m home…”

“Mama?”

A breath caught in his throat. Suga’s eyes widened in shock as a little girl stepped out from Kageyama’s shadow. A girl looked around by the years since Kageyama went missing— since Hinata left for Brazil. A little girl with Kageyama’s black hair swinging free behind her back, but Hinata’s autumn brown eyes. A girl that called an omega _‘Mama’_ without hesitation and wrapped her small arms around Kageyama’s legs.

“I’m okay, sweetheart.” Kageyama looked down on his daughter, then smiled a little. “Can you say hello to Suga-san?”

“Hello,” she said with the soft tone that belonged to Kageyama whenever he’d speak lovingly of Hinata.

It felt like everything went still, again. Even the people behind him froze in a moment. All of them gazed back at the small Hinata Shoyo, words left them like migrating birds.

“Oh my God…” Yachi muttered.

It was enough for Suga to pull away from the shock. And once he did, heavy steps marched towards Hinata’s direction where he stayed behind the newly arrived group. Just thinking of what Kageyama had to go through— what he was subjected to do alone while Hinata was beside himself with joy being selfish and fucking around— it all turned into a force meeting the alpha’s cheek. “What the hell have you done, Hinata!”


	8. Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Karasuno's reunion with Ichika.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! How are you all. I hope you're all safe and sound, and are taking care of yourselves. Thank you so much for patiently waiting for an update and as you can see, this fic had reached 5K hits! I can't believe the amount of support I and this fic received. It's overwhelming and I'm so happy for it. I can't thank y'all enough! 
> 
> Please always stay safe! <3

CHAPTER 8

“What the hell have you done, Hinata?!”

Suga was pained— tears stung the corner of his eyes attuned to the pulsating sting on the palm that collided against Hinata’s cheek. Moreover, his insides were churning with disappointment for the unmoving man before him. Hinata’s face jerked to the side, a hand cupping the red cheek Suga had slapped. But even after the minutes that cracked the fire over the barbeque, no answer poured out of Hinata’s mouth.

No excuses. No explanation. Nothing. And Suga had the urge to slap him once more just to shake the alpha out of it. But a cheery laughter broke the tension of the moment. When Suga craned his neck, Tobio’s daughter was looking at him with sparkling eyes.

“Mama, your senpai is so cool!”

“I-Ichika… let’s not— It’s a grown-up talk, baby, so let’s be quiet, okay?” Kageyama said, kneeling in front of her. But Ichika was shaking her head as if to disagree.

“But Hinata-san deserves it, Mama.” Then Ichika turned to Suga with a bright smile splitting her lips from ear to ear. “Thank you!”

Her words squeezed Suga’s heart, forcefully pushing out all emotions sitting inside in guise of tears. Once Daichi saw him crying, his husband stepped next to him. Gentle hands that made Suga fell in love with him cradled his head on the nook of his neck, his even gentler smell caressing him in an internal comfort. However, it couldn’t stop the shake in his heart like an earthquake rattling his insides. Ichika thanked him for slapping her father— of all people, she understood everything most. She couldn’t do it, so she thanked Suga for it. A kid like her shouldn’t be thanking someone for that. But even if Tobio’s little daughter might’ve not known the whole story between her parents, she understood enough to know that her mother had been hurt and enough to say that Hinata deserved the slap.

For a kid like her, she shouldn’t be carrying all of those in the first place. The same thought seemed to cross Kageyama’s head as well. Suga caught the hint of confliction on his face as he took Ichika in his arms, rubbing his cheek against her round one.

Those were the consequences of Hinata and Kageyama’s decisions— and as Suga moved to watch Hinata in the corner, the face of the alpha revealed he was also conflicted about it. _Good,_ Suga thought. Hinata didn’t deserve peace. Not after what he’d selfishly done, leaving Kageyama alone and his little girl. And as bad as it sounded, Suga would be delighted if the alpha would suffer a little more.

“Feeling better?” Daichi whispered, peering at Suga’s face.

He answered by nodding, then pulled away from the hug after he’d given his husband a quick kiss on the cheek. “Thanks, Dai.”

The other Karasuno were still motionless from where they stood or sat. Suga shot Asahi’s gaping face a glare and it snapped the man out of it, shaking Tanaka next to him to point out the barbeque on the grill. Tsukishima cleared his throat. His voice created a domino-effect, slowly pulling everyone out of their shock. Yamaguchi waved a hand in front of his wife’s face and Nishinoya glanced at Suga who’s lowering himself on the ground next to Kageyama and Ichika.

“Hi,” he softly greeted.

There’s really no denying that Ichika’s resemblance to Hinata. A part of Suga hoped that Kageyama could’ve found another man in all those years and came to build a happy life that he deserved. But the smile Ichika granted him was just as golden as when Hinata was still the sun of Karasuno.

“Hello, Mama’s senpai!”

“Suga-san, I didn’t—”

Sugawara cut off Kageyama with a shake of his own head. “I should be the one to say sorry,” he then looked at Ichika with an apologetic smile sitting on his mouth. “Ichika-chan, I’m sorry you had to see that. I lost my… erm… patience.”

“It’s okay, Uncle Suga—Oh… May I please call you that?”

The tiny tilt of her head and blinking as Ichika asked was an arrow straight to Suga’s heart. She had Kageyama’s innocence back in high school. It was too adorable, Suga just had to collect Ichika in a hug and rubbed his cheek against her mochi-like cheek like what Kageyama had done earlier. The ticklish show of affection elicited a giggle from her. “That’s okay, Ichika-chan! You can call me anything, you want!”

“Hey, I want to be called Uncle too!”

Ichika’s head moved slightly to face Noya sitting next to them. “Uncle Noya!”

“Uncle Noya…” Noya shut his eyes for a moment, clutching the front of his jacket as if too awestruck at the cuteness before him. “Did Kageyama talked about me?”

“Mama said you’re the smallest—”

“KAGEYAMA!”

“—but an amazing libero!” Ichika added before Noya had managed berate his kouhai who scuffled to move away.

Suga chuckled at Noya’s abashed face, rubbing the back of his neck from the admiration glossing the little girl’s eyes at him. “Ah! Kageyama you ba—” Suga shot Noya a look to stop him from swearing. The other man looked away, swallowing hard before continuing with his sentence. “Are you playing volleyball, too?”

Ichika enthusiastically nodded. “I’m practicing to be a setter like Mama!”

“And you’re going to be just as good as him.” Suga said, turning to Kageyama after. “We have a lot to catch up on, Kageyama. How long are you staying in Miyagi?”

Noya stood up. He invited Ichika to meet the other Karasuno, sensing that Suga and Kageyama had to talk. The little girl showed no hesitation in following her Uncle Noya. More so, she seemed really excited as the two fell on a conversation about volleyball. Noya was holding her little hand, guiding her towards the table where the first years were. Hitoka was the first to move, moving past Hinata who took a sit next to Tsukishima.

Kageyama followed suit when Suga stood up. “Right after New Year,” he finally answered, but his eyes remained dotingly following his daughter amicably greet his fellow first years. “Ichika needs to go back to school.”

His face was of a mother who’d powered through a heartbreak and raised a wonderful daughter on his own. It was too visible that Ichika was Kageyama’s world.

“You’ve gotten really strong, Tobio.” He said fondly, guiding Kageyama’s head to his shoulder. Their height difference made it a little awkward, but Kageyama was more than okay with it, snuggling his forehead closer to Suga’s neck. “I’m really proud of you…”

Kageyama chuckled quietly. “It’s because of Ichika, Suga-san. She’s my constant source of strength when I feel like I can’t go on anymore.”

“You raised a strong little crow.”

His kouhai agreed quietly. The two of them, then, settled in a bubble of comforting silence—a family needing no words to know the other was there. Suga was humming a nostalgic song, a song used to comfort Kageyama when he’d been too anxious because of Hinata, and his kouhai’s breathing was getting steadier. If it weren’t for Ichika calling her mother, Kageyama would’ve fallen asleep standing.

“Mama, look! Auntie Kiyoko has a ball in her tummy!” The little crow was sitting next to Kiyoko on the swing chair, her small hand planted on their former manager’s swollen middle. “She said it’s her baby! Mama, was I ball in your tummy too?!”

“You were a big ball, sweetheart.” Kageyama answered, laughing.

“Was I volleyball?!”

A collected laughter rounded the group, and suddenly, the cold December night felt warmer than a summer night with everyone gathered around Suga. It was as if their family was once again complete with Kageyama back and with the addition of a certain little crow. It made him full and before Suga knew it, he was mouthing an ‘I love you’ towards Daichi’s direction and his husband subtly blew him a kiss.

* * *

Once the barbeque had all been cooked, the reunion was moved inside the house. Her Uncles and Aunties were too excited with Ichika around. Even the salty middle blocker flushed in mixed embarrassment and ecstatic when Ichika smiled at Tsukishima and calling him Uncle Tsukki after she heard Yamaguchi called him with his childhood nickname.

“Even the King can be good with kids, huh.” Tsukishima commented at the news of Kageyama working at a kindergarten.

Kageyama shrugged a shoulder, unbothered of the jab. “I got used to it with Ichika around.”

His daughter was sitting on his lap, eating a mochi from the plate Kageyama was holding. At the mentioned of her name, Ichika looked up to her mother with curious eyes. “King? Mama’s a king?”

“It was a nickname for your mom in high school because he’s one of the best setters.” Daichi took the opportunity to answer before Tsukishima could. And Suga was glad of it— the reason might not bother Kageyama anymore but Ichika didn’t need to know about it.

Kageyama softly smiled at Daichi and Suga’s direction while Ichika eyes shone with admiration, irises glazing like crystals in a proud look for her mother. “Mama is really cool…” she muttered. “I really want to be like Mama.”

“You’ll be better than me, little angel.” Kageyama reached for a tissue and wiped off the powdered starch smeared at the corner of Ichika’s mouth. “You can show everyone your jump serves.”

“She can jump serve already?!” Nishinoya exclaimed.

Ichika raised her chin, pride brightened her angelic face then showed everyone a peace sign. “Mama taught me how to jump serve!” 

“I’d like to try and receive your serves, Ichika-chan!”

“Yes, please Uncle Noya! You can play with me and Hinata-san!”

Sugawara narrowed his eyes at Hinata. The alpha had been silent the whole time. Usually, he’d be the one riling up the party, but for the night, Hinata mostly stayed at one place. And most of it was few centimetres away from Kageyama and Ichika. He’d been like a dead air, almost invisible that everyone mostly forgotten he was there. But as Ichika included him in the conversation, Hinata lowered his head and the plate of barbeque seemingly became interesting for him.

“A-ah… yeah…” he uttered.

His stuttering answer thickened the once dissolved tension. Suga caught Kageyama’s quick glance at the alpha before they fleeted towards the television bracketed on the wall. Kinoshita switched it to YouTube and put-on instrumental songs for background music.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He called to his daughter polishing the last of the sweet. “Why don’t you sing for your uncles and aunties?”

“Oh, wow. Ichika can sing?” Hitoka handed a glass of water to Ichika who’d politely accepted it.

“Yeah. She really like Disney movies and few days ago they had a Christmas programme in her school and Ichika won first place in the small contest.” Kageyama said, proudly.

“Really? What did you sing Ichika-chan?”

“Let It Go!”

“Alright!” Suga said, leaning in to grab the remote control on the table. “Let’s sing together, Ichika-chan!”

Kinoshita volunteered to help Sugawara in setting up the built-in karaoke in their television. Ichika was also quick to move and the two of them agreed on what Disney song they would be singing. Tanaka and Daichi cleared the living room, moving the centre table then pushing the couch back to give them more space in front of the television.

Suga handed one mic to Ichika and kept one for himself. Kinoshita clicked a button in the remote and instrumentals started playing.

“Ladies and gentlemen, this is a duet by yours truly, Sawamura Koushi and—” he looked at Ichika to cue her introduction.

“Kageyama Ichika!” then the two of them synchronously bowed before started singing.

Tonari no kaisou wa aoku mieru sa  
Riku ni yuku no wa ooki na machigai  
Mawari wo mite goran kono umi no soko  
  


Sugawara was the first to sing, dancing to the light groove of the song. He sidestepped, slightly waving his body like seaweed dancing to the tune of the sea. Ichika was watching him with full-on interest, then following suit to his moves before taking over on singing.

_Subarashii under the sea  
  
_

Everyone gasped beneath their breath. Even Suga who was taken aback for a second, almost missing his step. Her personality carried the sun, but her voice— it carried the voice of the waves. It was soft and gentle, like small waves meeting the shore for the first time.

_Darling watashi no iu koto shinjite  
_

Acchi ja hataraku dake asa kara ban made  
Kocchi ja zutto asonde lucky  
Under the sea

Kiyoko took a deep breath and grabbed Tanaka perched on the arm rest of the chair she was sitting on. After few seconds of whispering, Tanaka whipped his phone out and moved next to Daichi who was filming the whole thing from the beginning. When Suga’s eyes moved to Kageyama; his face was soft watching his daughter dancing with full confidence.

Ichika grinned at Sugawara, the two of them synching their voice together. Suga waved his arms like to the right and Ichika to the left, then they circled around like how the fishes danced around Ariel in the movie.

“Ichika-chaaan!” Nishinoya jumped to their make-shift stage, kneeling to get on Ichika’s eye-level after their little sing and dance performance. “Please give me an autograph!”

Ichika giggled, palm suddenly wide-open. “It’s five hundred yen for an autograph, Uncle Noya.”

Noya’s eyes bulged from their socket in honest surprise. “What?! You’re charging for an autograph?!”

“Yes!”

Tsukishima looked at Kageyama’s direction, eyebrows connected in one-line. “What have you been teaching her?”

Embarrassed, the former setter rubbed the back of his neck. “Ah— That…”

“Oh, well. I agree. If you’re going to ask for an autograph from someone as cute as Ichika, you should pay up.” Chikara commented from where he was sitting next to Kageyama on the sofa.

“She just sounded like Tsukishima’s capitalist husband…” Noya grumbled, but nonetheless asked Asahi for their shared wallet.

Kageyama tried to stop it, synchronizing with Tsukishima’s own grumbling about his husband. But in one _kaching_ , signed and smile, the transaction was complete with Ichika’s messy writing on a piece of paper and her proud business smile. “Thank you for the business, Uncle Noya!”

“Her and Kuroo-san would get along well.” Yamaguchi merrily laughed, eyes dancing in amusement while watching Ichika showed Kageyama the fruit of her first business transaction.

They all agreed.

Their reunion went on with more singing and dancing from Ichika and Suga, until the mom of the group gazed up at the wall clock and motioned something to Daichi. Everyone, including Kageyama, was so focused in his and Ichika’s encore he didn’t notice Daichi walking to the table with the still boxed cake.

Candles were stick into it; the flicker of flame dancing the same moves Suga and Ichika had danced, swaying like small waves. Suga made eye-contact with everyone, a signal where they all stood up then rounded around Kageyama, singing _‘Happy Birthday.’_

_“Happy birthday to you~ happy birthday to you~ happy birthday, happy birthday. Happy birthday, dear Tobio~”_

Unshed tears glossed his eyes, brightened up by the candle flames. Kageyama looked at everyone and Suga smiled at him widely when his eyes landed on him. With a nod of his head, he urged Kageyama to blow the candles. However, their former setter motioned Ichika to move closer.

“Let’s blow the candles, together?”

Ichika zealously agreed.

The two of them closed their eyes, and Sugawara joined in; wishing that these two precious angels would find the happiness they both deserve. The family that they should have, full of smile and love.

“Happy birthday, Mama!” Ichika leaned to give her mother a quick kiss on the cheek and Kageyama positively melted.

“Happy Birthday too, little angel.”

“Wait—” Tanaka bellowed. “It’s Ichika’s birthday, too?!”

Kageyama bobbed his head. “She’s the greatest gift I ever received.”

“Mama is the best gift for me, too!”

Sugawara’s eyes widened like two full moons at Kageyama’s gentle smile and Ichika’s toothy grin. Hinata had really done it. The bitterness was back on his tongue, coating the inside of his mouth like venom. And if Suga couldn’t keep a tight lip, he would poison Hinata with venomous words.

A gift but also a reminder of what Kageyama had gone through.

Fate was just about the same— a blessing and a curse.

Suga heaved a deep breath, sharing a look with Daichi afterwards. He’d think it over again later but for now, a problem just presented itself. None of them knew so no one had prepared a gift for Ichika.

Fortunately, Kiyoko seemed to be more prepared than they were.

“Your Auntie Miwa told me it’s your birthday today too… so we got this for you.” She produced a simple gift bag from the back of the couch and handed it to Ichika.

“Thank you, Auntie Kiyoko!”

Ichika excited dove through the crepe paper, fishing out a familiar shirt of orange and black with the familiar number as well. She looked at Kageyama who was equally surprised to see the familiar jersey he’d wore in his first year. “It’s your number…”

“Miwa said you really want to be a setter like your mom, maybe you can wear that when you started playing in high school?”

Ichika clutched the jersey against her small chest, misty eyes gazing up at Kiyoko. “Can I try it on, Auntie?”

Kiyoko smiled at her. “Go ahead.”

Suga could tell, they all watched her with fondness permeating everyone’s chest. The jersey was way too big for her, the hem went past her dress she had for the night, cascading to kiss the floor. Ichika raised her arms and posed like a bunny with floppy ears, the sleeves of the jersey sliding down her skin, her dazzling smile was directed at Kageyama. The air around her seemed to blossom the flowers in her name, fuzzing and sparkling the surroundings.

“Daichi, take a picture!”

“Oh my God, this is too adorable!”

* * *

Kageyama was at the centre of Karasuno receiving gifts. Suga had already given the scrapbook he compiled of what Kageyama missed for the last six years and was waiting on the side, watching them take turns to hand what they bought for him.

It was Tsukishima’s turn when Ichika sat next to him on the foot of the stairs.

“I love everyone,” she said, also witnessing how Tsukishima teased Kageyama with the gift he got for him. “Everyone is making Mama smile, Uncle Suga.”

“Because we all love him,” he replied and softly brushing through the long strand of her hair. “and we love you too, Ichika-chan.”

“Can I ask a question, Uncle Suga?”

“What is it?”

“Is Uncle Daichi your soulmate?”

Suga breathed in, somehow not really surprised that Ichika was already aware of the second genders. By the way she was talking, protective of her mother, it was pretty much obvious what she had experienced. He took another breath. Him and Daichi were _betas_ , what the society called the ordinary people. _Betas_ didn’t have the superiority of an alpha or the ability to conceive of an omega. _Betas_ didn’t have fated mates, the special bond between soul-tied alpha and omega— but Suga liked to think that Daichi was his fated-half, his better half their own little destiny had brought to him.

He looked at Daichi’s smile. “Yes.”

“Does being with your soulmate makes you the happiest person?”

Suga’s face softened in return of Ichika’s mature question. The root of her question was also another thing that’s obvious. “Being with the person you love the most makes you the happiest, Ichika-chan. And for your Mama—” two set of eyes turned towards Hinata handing a small gift box to Kageyama. “— you are the person he loves the most.”

Kageyama opened the box. With a face full of shock, he looked back at Hinata and Suga was turning away to watch Ichika’s unreadable face. Another thing she got from Kageyama. There’s no telling what was going on in the deep of her eyes, but the purse of her lips indicated she was thinking. After a few second, she’s meeting Suga’s eyes. “Can I please ask a favour, Uncle Suga?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna know when I'd be updating again, you can follow me on my twitter or even if just to say hi, I'd appreciate it a lot: @nicaaa_chuuu 
> 
> See you on the next update! Thank you <3


	9. French Fry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A return to the past and glimpse of the future.

**CHAPTER 9**

“You’re a fucking idiot,” Tsukishima said, casting a glance where Kageyama had Ichika on his lap. The two of them had been going through Kageyama’s birthday gifts together and Hinata made sure to sear their laughing faces in his mind.

“I know,” he replied.

Sugawara hadn’t missed an opportunity in letting Hinata know about his stupidity. The older setter ensured the alpha would feel more guilty about his actions than he’d ever realised. And if given the chance, his senpai would not hesitate to load a gun and wipe him off in Kageyama’s life. And yet, Hinata accepted Suga’s blank looks and disappointed twitch of his mouth. Everything was his fault and he would bear responsibility for it, however, he didn’t want to be out Kageyama and Ichika’s life. He would accept his former teammates hate as much as he could— he deserved it after all, but the alpha would have Kageyama to at least hear him.

He had to. Hinata’s prepared to use everything in his arsenal to keep Kageyama from disappearing again. And so, the next morning, he didn’t hesitate to pull away from his bed. The hangover from all the alcohol last night was pounding on his temple, beating as if his heart had moved places. But he’d drowned the pain with water and Alka-Seltzer, then the alpha was on his way to pick Ichika from Kageyama’s house.

“Where’s your mom?”

A call woke him up. It came from Miwa’s old number, but Hinata was entirely surprised to hear Ichika’s voice on the other side of the call. His serotonin increased dramatically, sighing happily as he pedalled down the mountain from his mother’s place. To Hinata, his daughter’s willingness in spending the day with him was like a prayer answered by the Gods and should already be enough— it was enough. But he couldn’t help the part of him wistfully hoping for Kageyama to join them as he peaked from the entrance.

Ichika sat on the entryway, pulling on her shoes. “Mama is with Uncle Suga. I asked if they could take Mama out while I’m with Hinata-san.”

“So… you’re telling me, Kageyama doesn’t really know you’re with me?”

She stretched her legs out. It was easy to read the satisfaction flashed on her face while assessing the bunny ears she did on her shoes, But when Ichika lifted her head, Hinata was internally perplexed at how her expression quickly changed into something unreadable. “We’re buying Mama the best Christmas so it has be a surprise, Hinata-san— oh, and please prepare your wallet.”

The alpha rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of what to say neck. Ichika was way too mature for her age and it’s shocking Hinata every time he’d be on the other end of her words and actions. She couldn’t have inherited that maturity from Kageyama or him. The two of them were a pair of immature volleyball idiots. Always making mistakes. Always running with their instincts or hungers.

But as Ichika secured the pair of fluffy white earmuffs to cover her ears, Hinata could see the calculating mind she had behind the brown and gold of her innocent eyes. Everything the alpha had heard from her or witnessed, Ichika made sure to think it through, keeping the most important person in her life in mind. And for that, Hinata was more than grateful albeit feeling regretful of the consequences of his actions. 

_If he didn’t leave, would him and Kageyama witness how Ichika would act a little spoiled? Like how kids of her age demanded for new things?_ He might’ve robbed Kageyama of those memories, but there’s no more point in dwelling on what ifs and buts. Hinata would just have to do what he could do.

Taking on a deep breath, he turned his attention again to his daughter who was fixing her thick coat over the dress she was wearing. “Let’s go?”

“Yes, please.”

Hinata mentally changed their destinations while the two of them walked side by side towards the bus station. If Kageyama was with Suga-san, it was most likely they were out to do some shopping as well. Whilst everyone were filling their plates with food, he unintentionally heard from Daichi-san about Suga-san’s incomplete Christmas shopping to-do list. Hinata would risk exploiting the surprise if he brought Ichika to the nearest mall, and he’s not particularly inclined in getting on Ichika’s bad side when he’s trying to win his daughter over.

And so, the alpha pulled out his wallet and bought bus tickets to one of the biggest malls in Sendai and was quite far from their location. When the two of them had gotten on, Hinata let Ichika took a seat before sitting next to her. It surged a little wave of joyous emotion inside him, making the alpha realised once again that he could spend a day with his daughter.

He’d been wanting to do so. Hinata wanted to get to know her more. _What are her favourites? Her dislikes?_ He already heard about Ichika wanting to be a setter, but did she want to play another position? How did Kageyama taught her how to serve? He wanted to know everything he’d missed about the little angel.

“Hinata-san…” Upon hearing her voice, Hinata was pulled out his bubble. He turned his head to the side and saw she wasn’t looking at him. Ichika was leaning her head on the bus window, her eyes reflecting the panorama of houses and streets they were passing by. And because her voice was quiet, the question left her mouth just almost like a whisper of the wind. “Did you buy Mama a ring?”

Hinata sucked on a breath through his teeth, then he was staring at the ceiling of the bus. Memories of last night resurfaced from the back of his, replaying like a recent film. The small box, Kageyama’s face full of shock and of him putting it away without uttering another word to Hinata. If he would be honest, the omega’s avoidance was the reason why he’d almost finished the bottle of sake Tsukishima had opened. “It wasn’t a ring.”

“Hmm…” She hummed, thoughtful. “Then you’re not as stupid as Uncle Tsukki said.”

 _Too blunt, Ichika-chan!_ Hinata wanted to cry out, shutting his eyes as if Ichika had plunge a blunt knife into his guts. Most people’s impression was that their daughter inherited most of her from Hinata, but her sharp tongue and unfiltered mouth was definitely Kageyama’s! “O-okay…”

He heard her took a breath, after. “Let’s buy Mama the best gift. He deserves it.”

“Okay.” Hinata verbally agreed, but a disagreement was on the tip of his tongue. Slowly opening his eyes, he mentally added, _‘Kageyama deserves the world.’_

* * *

Despite being a cold December day, the sun was behind the giant Ferris wheel and had casted a shadow that swallowed his and Ichika’s. A tiny gasp left her mouth, eyes glowing in golden light as Ichika threw her head back to follow the full height of the attraction reaching for the sky. “It’s huge!”

Hinata stepped next to her. “Do you want to ride it?”

She pursed her small lips. The alpha cocked his head to the side, watching his daughter think carefully until she was shaking her head. “Not today, Hinata-san. I want to ride it with Mama and see the top of the world!”

 _World, huh?_ Watching Ichika eyeing the Ferris wheel, somehow, Kageyama’s high school-self had shown itself and stood next to her. Her words aligned with his— when the omega had ask if Hinata was willing to stand next to Kageyama, taking on the world with their volleyball. The ghost of their promise tugged the corners of Hinata’s mouth in a nostalgia-filled smile. “You sound like him.”

Ichika moved her attention, craning her head to the side in question. “Who?”

“Your mom.”

Hinata watched carefully as the small smile in Ichika’s face split into a wide cheeky grin that creased the corners of her eyes. “I’m his daughter, of course. Silly Hinata-san!”

The alpha placed a hand on top of his Ichika’s head and mussed her hair. “That you are.”

“Hinata-san, no!” Ichika was quick to huff a retort. She took a step away from him, fixing her bangs with a slight puff of her squishy cheeks in annoyance. “I spent minutes fixing my hair.”

“It’s too long, Ichika.” He said, running his eyes down Ichika’s hair where it hung loosely on her waist. “Why don’t you ask Miwa-nee to cut it?”

“No!” She shot him a glare. But to Hinata, Ichika looked more like a cute angry bunny rather than menacing. Somehow, it hadn’t been quite the eyes that grounded him away from Kageyama when he’d found them. “Mama likes my long hair and it makes me happy when he’s brushing it before I go to sleep!”

Hinata blinked in honest surprise. _That couldn’t be right,_ he thought. Kageyama was _awful_ when it comes to hair. In the last year of their high school, Hinata hurt himself laughing from Kageyama’s weird bangs after messing with scissors! Ichika narrowed her eyes, as if sensing he’s bad-mouthing her mother, and then Hinata was clearing his throat. “Let’s go find Kageyama a gift.”

Ichika _hmp­-_ ed, jerking her head to the side in swift response.

 _So, she could be a little spoiled,_ Hinata chuckled to himself while closely following his daughter who took of first. When the alpha caught their reflection on a shop’s glass display, he was quite saddened to see that it didn’t really resembled a relationship between father and his daughter. Walking past by another shop, Hinata thought, much to his chagrined, he looked more of a chaperone trailing behind her.

And when Ichika stepped inside a shop and Hinata watched her looked over some dinner plates, his head couldn’t deny it anymore. He really looked more like an acquaintance! If no one paid close attention to their facial similarities, no one would be able to tell that Ichika was Hinata’s daughter!

It wasn’t what he was picturing when Ichika said she wanted Hinata to go to the mall with her. The alpha thought he could hold her hand like how Kageyama held her. Or to carry Ichika in his arms when she jumped onto her mother when she won first place in their school’s competition.

“Hinata-san.”

_And she was calling him Hinata-san!_

He sighed quietly, brushing the negativity off his mind. He’d been selfish enough throughout his life, Hinata shouldn’t be asking for more. But he’d be lying if he said he didn’t want to at least hear Ichika call him papa or dad.

“Hinata-san, your phone is ringing!”

“Yeah…” Hinata said, deflated like a balloon.

Ichika glanced at him with furrowed brows, then casted him away to look at dinner plates again. Her reaction put a pout on Hinata’s lips. Languidly fishing his phone from the pocket of his jacket, the ID name flashed on the screen caused the same furrowing of brows on his own face.

**_Miya Atsumu_ **

Hinata quickly swiped the end call.

“You’re not going to answer?” Ichika asked without looking at him.

“It’s nothing.” He replied.

When he told Kageyama about the end of his relationship with Atsumu, Hinata meant it through and through. What they had was a fleeting course, a thread that was bound to snap in a mere flick of a finger. Hinata and Atsumu came together to seize the heat of their bodies and nothing more.

Ichika looked over her small shoulder. Her eyes spoke nothing once again as they fell on the phone in his hand then casted up to watch Hinata’s eyes. He gave her a smile. It was an asshole move from Hinata, to take advantage of Atsumu then suddenly breaking things off. But it was inevitable. It would happen sooner and later. And he wasn’t about to let his past ruin what Hinata could’ve had six years ago. _Not today. Not tomorrow._

“Mama said he wants new plates in our apartment. Can we get this, please?” She pointed a box set of dinnerware.

There was a box set of three. Another one with five dinnerware. But Ichika chose the box with four plates, four bowls, four ceramic teacups with sakura pattern for four people. _Her, Kageyama, Miwa-nee…_ And as Hinata picked the box, he was silently hoping Ichika was including him in her family.

A lump lodged itself in Hinata’s throat causing his voice to break. “I-Is this all?” His daughter was watching him with careful eyes. Under the light sipping through the store window’s, the gold in her irises seemed to gleam as she wordlessly nodded her head. “Let’s go pay for it, then we could find somewhere to eat. Do you want ramen?”

* * *

Ichika didn’t want ramen.

The alpha peeled the wrapper off a McDonald’s burger, then afterwards handed it to his daughter next to him on the high stools. She was sipping on her drink, a Fuji Apple McFreeze. Hinata had to double-check if he heard her right about the cold drink. But as she responded in a sing-song voice, _“The cold never bothered me, anyway”,_ he didn’t have any choice but to buy it for her.

“Are you sure you’re okay with this?” He asked, watching her bite into the bun and patty. “You’re allowed to have McDonald’s, right? Kageyama wouldn’t kill me for this?”

Ichika gave her a look— telling him how incredulous he sounded with her eyes. “Mama would sometimes take me, Maya-chan and Mia-chan to McDonald’s after class.”

“Are they your friends?”

“Yeah.” Ichika nodded. “Maya-chan and Mia-chan are twins. Their mom is an omega, too. She helps Mama sometimes with the groceries.”

 _Omega…_ Hinata straightened his back. When he’d heard of the second genders, it wasn’t this early. And him being an alpha didn’t came out until he was in middle school after the compulsory second-gender test. But at the age of six, Ichika seemed to know more about the second genders than what her age group should know. Something must’ve happened. The curiosity and his alpha instincts kicking in until he was parting his lips, a question budding on the edge of his tongue. But Ichika turned to him with a request of her own.

“Hinata-san, please tell me more about Mama in high school.” 

The alpha leaned his elbow on the counter, his fingers weaving through the sunset locks on the back of his head. The space before him was empty. Hinata wasn’t really hungry, so he opted in making sure Ichika was fed, instead. “Your Mom,” he started and even Hinata himself noted the fondness laced in his tone.

The scenario outside the fast-food place: the shops decorated with Christmas ornaments, the people passing by with their own business in mind, everything was slowly disappearing before his eyes in white, nostalgic mist.

Then Hinata was back in Karasuno High School. First year, where the familiar squeak of volleyball shoes meant everyday memories with his favourite setter. Second year, under the falling petals of sakura and the soft smile on Kageyama’s face. Third year… warmth surged in Hinata’s lungs as he took in a breath to calm the raging beast inside his ribcage.

“I met Kageyama in middle school. We only played one game and he really trashed our team.” He relayed the story to Ichika like it was a treasure from the past; sacred, gentle memories. “Your Mom is one of the best setters in the prefecture and he even got a cool nickname, ‘King of the Court.’”

“Oh! I heard that from Uncle Suga and Uncle Daichi!”

“Ah— yeah. But Kageyama was really scary back then. I remember the time I served in one of our practice games and hit him on the back of his head. I was really scared for my life that day!” Internal shudder ran through the alpha’s body like creeping electricity. He remembered the fast beat of his heart that days, scared that he would be thrown out of the court. But most of all, it was Kageyama’s calm scary face that terrified him the most. 

Looking back, Kageyama really had grown up. From that person who was easily conflicted to the person who raised a wonderful daughter like Ichika.

“Wait…” Hinata inclined his head to face Ichika who’d tugged the sleeve of his jacket. “I know that story! Is that the one where Karasuno played against the Grand King? Mama said he’s also one of the best setters! Is that person really that good?!”

“Did he tell you some stories from our high school?” Hinata could help the surge of excitement to run through him when Ichika nodded. Knowing that Kageyama hadn’t really erased Hinata completely off their present and future made the alpha smile widely. “Oikawa-san is really good. He’s actually the starting setter of Argentina’s national volleyball team.”

“Oh!” Ichika exclaimed, almost jumping out her seat. “You played against him in the Olympics!”

“You know about that too?!” His eyes bulged out of their socket, his surprise causing Hinata to sit with a straight back. “How much do you know, Ichika-chan?”

His daughter nonchalantly picked up a fry from her tray of food. “I probably know Mama the most— but I’m asking Hinata-san for the Mama that I don’t know in high school,” then popped the potato stick in her mouth, chewing slowly with scrutinous eyes on her father.

Her impatient screamed Kageyama Tobio as well. Hinata was shaking his head as a result. “Kageyama was a _grrr_ -kind of person. It’s easy to get a reaction from him. And his insult vocabulary was really limited to ‘boke.’”

“Mama is still like that!” Ichika’s laugh brought them closer to the sun, its warmth filling in the cold space between them and Hinata found himself smiling. “When he was first teaching me volleyball, he accidentally called me boke! We’re both really shocked!”

“What’s that? He only called you once. But with me, Kageyama used to call me that most of the time!”

“Because Mama said you’re bad at receiving!”

The two of them looked at each other. Familiar set of brown eyes, the same curve of smile. Then him and Ichika broke into a feat of laughter that melted Hinata into a puddle of sunlight on the shop’s floor. He could share moments like this with her— his and Tobio’s daughter. It would be okay.

But then Ichika’s bright smile slowly lost its light. Her face dimmed, eyeing the tray of food before her. “I resemble Hinata-san a lot. Our eyes are the same colour and even Uncle Suga easily got mad at you after taking one look at me.”

Suddenly, a bucket of cold water rained down on him. The loud pounding of his heart rang through Hinata’s ears, deafening of the words that might come out of Ichika’s mouth. Words that he wouldn’t like. “Ichika…”

Hinata wanted to plead to her to give him a chance, but his daughter was already giving him a shake of her head as if she’d known it was an impossible task. “It probably hurt Mama a lot when he’d look at me and see you… but he still said that I’m the best gift he received on his birthday and that he loves me the most…”

“I’m sorry…” he whispered.

Little by little, Hinata was starting to hate those two words. But he couldn’t offer any better words for the lack of better reasons. Even if he told Ichika what he thought of six years ago before jumping on a plane to Brazil— it wouldn’t make any difference. He still left. He left Kageyama on his own. He left Ichika to grow up without a father. And the realisation of it would continue to haunt him.

Hinata could feel the sear of tears in his eyes, disappointment for himself marching like on a death parade. It felt more suffocating, more painful when he got sick on their first year of Spring National and was forced to leave the court. If he lost this time, there won’t be another year nor another chance to fight and win them back.

“I still don’t forgive Hinata-san for making mommy cry…” Again, Ichika picked up a fry. “But when you… erm… Auntie Miwa said that I’m a part of mommy because I’m his daughter. So, when you said that you want to love Mama better with every part of you— I can at least believe that Hinata-san.” Then, she was turning to face him. The fry was between them, waiting to be accepted by Hinata like a chance Ichika was handing him. “Because I’m your daughter, I’m a part of you and I love Mama the most in this world.”

Hinata moved to accept the French fry with quivering hands. However, at the last second, he chose to wrap them instead around her small hand and leaned on his forehead on it. “T-thank you…” he said in shuddering tone, brimming with so many emotions he couldn’t contain that turned into streaming tears on his cheeks. “Thank you…” he repeated.

“Please don’t make Mama sad anymore…”

He nodded… then nodded, again. Hinata nodded his head again and again until Ichika knew it was a promise he intended to keep for the rest of his life. A toothy smile curved her lips, the light returning to brightened the colour of her face. And as her free hand wiped the tears off Hinata’s face, his phone on the counter rung.

“It’s Uncle Suga,” she said after checking the screen.

The alpha only moved a single hand, keeping the other one holding his daughter’s. He swiped the answer button and put the call on-speaker. “He—”

“Boke, give me back my daughter!” It was Kageyama shouting on the other side.

Ichika laughed.

“Mama figured it out already?” then gave Hinata a smile that resembled Kageyama’s smile. The one he gave Hinata under the sakura tree.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I wanted to apologize if my writing had gotten worse. I've been writing academic papers and it's taking a mental toll on my creative writing. I promise to fix everything as soon as I can. 
> 
> Second, again, I wanted to thank everyone for the continued support. I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update, but thank you for not abandoning this story! It means a lot to me. Your kudos and comments mean a lot and are keeping me to keep on writing. So, thank you! 
> 
> I hope everyone is staying safe! <3


	10. Christmas eve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas Eve.

**CHAPTER 10**

From behind the counter where he’s prepping the ingredients to cook Ichika’s favourite curry udon, Tobio kept one eye on his little girl who’s sat in front of the television, stuffing her cheeks with the Christmas cookies Miwa baked. Her side profile relented a happy munchkin with eyes big and bright, and sunny laugh spilling out of her lips after a funny act in the cartoon she’s watching. In all honesty, Ichika had been a little happier since coming home yesterday. Since Hinata dropped her off after spending a father-daughter day.

“Ichika,” he called. “Don’t finish those cookies, sweetheart. You won’t be able to eat later.”

“Yes, Mama!”

Tobio expelled a breath, taking off the worry lodged in his chest. He didn’t have anything to worry about anyway. When the omega heard it from Suga-san and how Ichika personally asked the favour, Tobio shouldn’t have felt the bite of panic even for just a second. Hinata and Ichika spending time together was what Tobio wanted for his daughter. It was the irrational part of him that thought Ichika might’ve wanted to stay with Hinata instead— _No!_ The omega banished the unbidden thought immediately as it came. Ichika shouldn’t feel compelled to choose between her parents.

He would have to talk with Hinata sooner or later. They should reach an agreement when it comes to being with their daughter. For her sake and maybe… _Maybe,_ Tobio let go of the knife atop the chopping board. Hiding his mouth with the back of his hand, he bit his lower lip and steadied his breathing. The inside of his ribcage was already a chaotic mess. But… even if it were just for Ichika, him and Hinata could at least try to find a middle ground as friends.

“Tobio, I put the chicken in— hey, you okay?” Miwa’s worry flashed on her creased face, quickly resting a hand on his forehead as if to check Tobio’s temperature. “You’re not sick, are you? Heat?”

 _Just friends._ The omega shook his sister’s hand. “I’m fine, Miwa-nee.”

She raised an eyebrow. “If you say so…” Miwa’s dubious tone gave way to her thoughts, but thankfully didn’t push it further. “Anyway, what time Shoyo-kun is coming?”

Just as what promised in their impulsive ramen-eating contest, Hinata won the chance to spend Christmas with Ichika and Tobio. It was also for their daughter to meet Natsu and her only grandparent, Emiko. Tobio’s parents weren’t around for a long time. They were practically dead in his and Miwa’s lives, so for the chance Ichika to meet Hinata’s mother and for their sweet girl to call her grandmother— it’s making Tobio a little excited, too.

“He says—” the clock mounted on the kitchen’s wall ticked exactly half-past six— “around seven pm.”

Miwa nodded. “Are you good? Do you need to… erm.. I don’t know,” she paused. “Sort your thoughts out?”

Tobio, too, had stopped momentarily.

Emiko and Natsu warmly welcomed him in their home back when the omega and Hinata were… in whatever they had in the past. He found a little sister on Natsu, just as much as he found the missing motherly presence in his life on Emiko. And for those facts that he couldn’t erase the confliction off him. It was really getting onto him— the consequences of running away from the people who cared and loved him. Worrying about their anger, their acceptance… if he were to be honest, it was getting a little exhausting.

It would be a lie if Tobio said it didn’t cross his mind that his decisions might not be the smartest. But what could he do at that point? When his heart was breaking in a million pieces, and longing for Shoyo was rapidly swallowing him like quicksand? Tobio did what he could. Acted on the thing he thought was for the best despite his broken heart. And for the little girl who handed him the sun on stormy days. For his daughter who shone the brightest like she was made of all the stars in the sky. To keep her protected, to keep Tobio’s heart in her little hands safe— the omega would grin and would do it all over again if he needed so.

So, he gave his sister a nod full of conviction. “It’s fine.”

Tobio wasn’t alone anymore. Ichika would make it fine if he couldn’t.

Miwa roamed her familiar eyes on his face, searching every nook and cranny for any misgivings. What she found there pasted a wide grin on her mouth. “Oh well.” She shrugged. “If anything, Christmas is about giving. Maybe it’s time to hand-out chances and forgiveness.”

“Poetic,” Tobio muttered, a soft chuckle followed. 

After grinning at each other, the two of them went back on preparing their Christmas feast. She’s right, today was Christmas. Tobio could let his heart and soul breathe for a moment and just to casually spend the holiday with his family. He would try to be casual and to not overthink what was to happen between him and Hinata, and with Ichika. Even if it was just a momentary happiness.

He already decided to let Hinata go, already decided to move forward… but Tobio couldn’t help but to look forward in spending Christmas with them, in spending Christmas with Shoyo after years of being apart. He could be selfish even if it’s just for the holiday, right? He won’t be asking for more after it. After all, temporary happiness of having Shoyo stand next to him again was already more than enough to ask for himself.

Tobio craned his head towards the window of the kitchen. _Please,_ he begged whoever was listening from the throne made of stars, _I know he’s not mine, but please… Give me just a little more time for this happiness._

“Mama?”

The omega made sure his face wasn’t tainted with any remnants of longing he kept in his heart. Plastering a soft smile, he shifted his attention back to Ichika. She was clutching the edge of the counter, looking up at him with her curious eyes like a little puppy. “Can I help with something?”

Tobio reached and fixed her straight-cut bangs. “Can I get you to taste the curry later?”

In a split second, the brown and gold of Ichika’s eyes disappeared behind her eyelids. She beamed like blazing sun in the summer. “Of course! I love Mama’s curry!” She moved to give Tobio a hug from the waist, burying her face on his mother’s side. The sleeves of the volleyball jersey she received from Kiyoko-san hang loosely on her arms, the entirety of the shirt was like a dress on her small frame. Its hem flourished the tiled floor of the kitchen, and the black and orange colour matches the volleyball hair tie she had on her pigtails. His little volleyball player, who’s then threw her head back once again to look at him with expectant eyes. “Can I open a gift, then?”

Their kitchen smelled homely and warm like it used to be in Hokkaido. The chicken was in the oven, roasting with seasoned potatoes and carrots. The air drifting from the stove carried the sweet scent of sugar caramelising for the pudding Miwa was making. It was everything he used to smell and feel in those years spending Christmas with these two girls. But the omega in him— it was him who was still anticipating for what’s more to come after seeing the familiar big smile on Ichika’s face.

Tobio pursed his lips in thought. “Ah… so, that’s your plan all along!” He playfully narrowed his eyes at his little mischief. “You already peaked at your gifts, didn’t you?”

“I didn’t!” Ichika puffed her cheeks, indignantly. But it was quick as a snap when she started giggling. “I didn’t, Mama!”

“So, you didn’t know that Miwa-nee bought you the Anna dress you wished for Christmas?”

Ichika gasped in feigned surprise, even going as far to cover her tiny mouth with her hands. Tobio caught her natural strawberry scent mixed in the sweet and spiced smell of the kitchen. “Auntie Miwa did?” she repeated. “She really did?”

Miwa in the background barked a laugh, already used to Ichika’s playfulness. Just like every Christmas, indeed.

“Little boke…” The omega was shaking his head in his daughter’s act, chuckling a little. It resembled too much of Hinata’s antics, hence the little nickname just fell off his mouth without second thoughts. “Go upstairs and change your dress, Ichika.”

“But I like this one!” She pouted, then pondered for a minute. “Mama, what if we move here? Can I go to your school?”

“Karasuno?”

“Yes and your middle school too!”

From his peripheral view, Tobio caught Miwa’s eyes on him. The thoughts behind them were just as loud if she had spoken them out. _Move back in Miyagi?_ Not even once had he considered it. It didn’t even cross his mind for two reasons. It would’ve defeated the purpose of hiding and Ichika had been his only priority. Her whole life was back in Hokkaido. She was born there, lived, and laughed with Maya-chan and Mia-chan there. Yes, they had their rough roads in that place, but it was the only place Ichika had known and he didn’t want to disrupt the life they built in that small apartment.

But if she raised the question Tobio didn’t even think about, his daughter might’ve found something in Miyagi to spur it. With the intent to know, he lifted Ichika to sit on the counter and Tobio tapped her button nose with his forefinger. “What about Maya-chan and Mia-chan, won’t you miss them?”

“Can I bring them with us?”

Tobio exhaled a chuckle. “I’m sure their mother won’t let that happen… but why did you suddenly ask, Ichika?”

“Because you look happier here, Mama.”

Surprise etched on Tobio’s face. Ichika wasted no time in answering it, so she must’ve been thinking about it since the beginning.

 _Seriously? What did he do in his past life to deserve such angel in his life?_ The omega leaned forward, spoiling himself with the rich and sweet strawberry scent. His arms, more stronger than his daughter’s, wrapped gently around her small frame. Then, Tobio touched his forehead on hers. “Wherever you are, my little angel, is where I’m happiest,” he murmured.

The sun had dawned again from the smile that tugged the corner of her lips, enveloping Tobio in Ichika’s warmth since the day he’d given birth to her. “But I love Mama when he’s laughing with his friends, too. In Hokkaido, Mama’s friend is only Auntie Rina,” she said, pertaining to her friends’ mother who had given Tobio support since Ichika befriended the twins. “But here, you have Uncle Suga and Uncle Daichi and Uncle Yama and Uncle Tsukki—”

“Are you going to list all your uncles and aunties in that sentence?”

A benign laughter stumbled out of her lips. “You have lots of friends here, Mama and I can always talk to Maya-chan and Mia-chan on the phone. I’ll ask Auntie Rina for their number!”

If there’s another thing Ichika inherited from Hinata, it was their stubbornness for the thing they already had put their mind into. They would continue to seek until they have what they wanted in their hands— Tobio knew that first-hand from the years of watching the constant hunger in Hinata’s eyes. He lost against that hunger; a reason why he also turned his back when Hinata boarded the plane to Brazil.

In the same twinkling hunger gleaming in Ichika’s eyes.

Miwa kept her silence on the other side of the kitchen, busying herself with the dessert. An indicative he was on his own this time, so he expelled a breath that sounded more like a defeated sigh. “We have to think about it more, sweetheart. You have your school there and my job.”

If Tobio relented himself on this plan, he would need to find another job. He couldn’t always rely on his sister and there’s also Ichika’s future to think about. What if she decided to go to University? Or continue a path in her budding love for volleyball. No matter what, Tobio would need to have a job that would let him support his daughter in the future.

But what? He’s only a high school graduate. He immediately pursued the V-League after graduating and then dropping it in an instant. What job could he get from that? Another bite of his lower lip and Tobio was meeting the questioning look drawn in Ichika’s face. Was he credible enough to get a job as a volleyball coach? More importantly, was he ready to face the sport again? The very same sport that ripped everything of him into shred? He was barely managing when Tobio first started teaching Ichika volleyball. He remembered almost crying in front of her when Ichika first held a ball and smiled at him.

Tobio shoo-ed the memories away with an invisible hand and a shake of his head. “L-let’s… I’ll think about it, okay? Let’s celebrate Christmas first, little angel.”

“O-kay…” Ichika tipped her head to the side in the barest of inch.

As he smiled to her, it was hard to ignore the clawing trouble in the pit of his stomach. Resolve after resolve. Ichika had Hinata’s pace and if Tobio failed to catch up again, his nightmares might just do it for him. And he didn’t want to find himself alone again just like last time.

* * *

Expecting the unexpected wasn’t always effective and expecting what needed to be expected didn’t exactly helped Tobio as well. He expected for the doorbell to ring. He expected Miwa to answer it, then of the familiar voices to follow the dance of the uninvited cold wind from the outside world. He expected to have his heart racing for so many reasons— but nothing ever prepared him to see the tears cascading out of Emiko’s soft eyes as the woman took his appearance in the middle of their living room.

Tobio stumbled a little when she closed the distance between them. Her smaller body collided against him in a tight hug. Her warmth was just as the same as the first motherly hug she’d given him in high school. “We were all worried about you, Tobio…”

“I’m sorry, Emiko-san.” The omega asked himself if would cry. But the tears he couldn’t shed just lumped themselves in his throat, making it hard for him to swallow the emotions overflowing from the empty room in his heart. Hinata was standing few feet away from them, watching the moment unfold. His hair was shorter but was still sun-bright as ever, and his eyes— oh, the eyes that made Tobio fell in love like a constant fool, they’re set on him with the warmest sky behind them. “I-I’m sorry for disappearing…” the omega added in a whisper.

“You’re all safe,” she whispered in return. “And that’s all that matters for now, my sweet child.”

His eyelids felt heavy until they were shutting on their own. Tobio expected it to be warm, but in Emiko-san’s arms, he felt himself returning to the child he was and snuggled closer to the gentleness she brought. He expected it to be warm but one look of Hinata standing in the place where they spent moments together back in those days, Tobio’s heart was ablaze with the memories. It could’ve been winter outside their house, but in that moment, summer came forth with the smell rosewood adrift the cold wind. The sweet strong scent opened the room in his heart and soul that was left bare and untouched, frozen in time.

Everyone was still and quiet, allowing the mother-son reunion to fall on the softest cloud of the moment— that was until Natsu’s voice rang on the space and shattered it like a glass mirror.

“Nii-chan— shit, Shoyo-nii! There’s a chibi-version of you on the couch!”

Emiko released herself from the hug, sniffling as she craned her head back. She didn’t say anything upon seeing what Natsu was freaking out about, but Tobio felt her stiffened after seeing Ichika’s chin propped over the back of the couch and was watching them with the same curious eyes she had when wondering about something.

Natsu’s eyes shot at his direction. “Oh my God, Tobio-nii… Is she…” then back at Ichika who just jumped off the seat and was now trailing towards Tobio and Emiko. “Oh my gosh! Miwa-nee, did you… Oh my gosh, did I hit my head on the way here?! Because I’m seeing a little Shoyo-nii, right now!”

“Calm down, Nacchan!” Miwa laughed at the younger Hinata’s reaction. She was the only one who had the audacity to laugh at the situation and Tobio was throwing her a blank look. “What?” she mused following through with a chuckle. “It’s a little funny, Tobio!”

“It’s not funny, Miwa-nee!” Natsu retorted back, huffing at the same time. “I’m a little freaked out, right now! How is there a smaller version of Shoyo-nii in here?!”

Ichika stepped next to him. Her hand found the hem of Tobio shirt and she clutched it tightly. The two of them watched realisation fell on Emiko-san’s face after she had turned to face the mother and daughter duo. “Tobio…” she began at the same time Miwa opened her mouth crudely and answered Natsu’s question. “Your brother got my brother pregnant, Natsu. That’s how.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AND CUT! 
> 
> How's that? I'm sorry for the shorter update, but there's that! Like always, thank you for the undying support! And because everyone had been cheering me up and sending good luck towards my studies, I've got good news! I received my first three grades and they were better than expected! I got a first and two seconds in my assessments! Yayy!! <3 I hope everyone is staying safe and looking after your mental health! If you need someone to talk to just hit me up in my Twitter! <3
> 
> Thank you!! See you on the next chapter! <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'm currently a student living in a life full of stress due to deadlines and classes but I will do my best to keep updating on a steady pace. But thank you so much for reading! 
> 
> I also have a Twitter! Come follow me @nicaaa_chuuu then just talk to me regarding this fic or Haikyuu in general! 
> 
> Please don't forget to leave kudos and comments. Thank you lovelies!! 
> 
> Keep safe out there! <3


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